Archive for July, 2011

29
Jul
11

Reasons Why Predator is Better than The King’s Speech

The Fight of the Century.

I recently finished watching the Academy Award winning film, The King’s Speech. For those of you who have lives and don’t follow this kind of thing, this movie won awards for Best Actor, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay, and Best Picture. Apart from that, it won a shit-ton of awards from all the other award shows that year. Hollywood has to have award shows monthly, because they need to continuously validate what they do for a living. Honestly, these people contribute nothing to society. Go ahead and tell me that the people who made Transformers 2 are adding things of cultural importance.

So, in order to satisfy their egos and justify getting paid millions of dollars for three-months of work a year, they need to give each other shiny metal statues. Somehow that tells them that yes, they are important. Not only that, they won this award, which means they are more awesome than they had previously realized! Here’s how a typical award presentation works.

Presenter: And the Jizzie award for Best Actor goes to, Douchey Guy!

Douchey Guy (feigning surprise): Wow, I can’t believe I won!

Presenter: Out of all the actors this year, you recited lines someone else wrote for you better than anyone else!

Douchey Guy: This is a tremendous honor.

Presenter: Who would you like to thank for this prestigious award?

Douchey Guy: My manager, my director, my mistress, my therapist, my tax attorney, my other therapist, my personal trainer, my wife, my kids, and Jesus.

Continue reading ‘Reasons Why Predator is Better than The King’s Speech’

27
Jul
11

The Awesomest Shittiest Twitter Ever

*chomp*

Well, I finally decided to join Twitter. Don’t ask me why, I have no clue. Like all my endeavors, it most likely occurred in a drunken haze. As I mentioned before, Twitter is Facebook’s younger, mentally challenged cousin. At least now I can post random shit nobody cares about with more frequency. So, for the three of you out there that read this site, you can now read a few updates in the interim between my regular blog posts. As this site happens to be the best/worst blog on the internet, I hope that @awesomelyshitty can be best/worst Twitter feed on the internet. Click here to check it out. I normally would think of this as selling out, but then again, I don’t get paid.

15
Jul
11

Happy (Shitty) Three Year Anniversary

Another year has come and gone, and people keep on telling me what an idiot I am for trashing their favorite shows in my 20 Shittiest Anime of the Decade post. Let’s face facts, people. If you really think that Kanon was something more than a decroded piece of crap then you should just accept that our taste in anime is incompatible. I like stuff that’s good, and you like shit. Of course, shit being popular is what keep the world economy going, and also what fuels the fire for my outrage, which in turn keeps this blog going. Also, I’ve paradoxically been accused of being a hipster, which means that some people failed to read my post on Fake Indie Movies. Overall, it has been a good year. I got a new logo, tons of great spam, and I completed my expose on the 4 Horsemen of the Film-Making Apocalypse. I can’t ask for much more than that. So, until the day that the world comes to its senses and stops endorsing shitty entertainment, I’ll keep posting reviews of things I hate (and sometimes love). After all, this is the best/worst blog on the Internet. Happy (shitty) three year anniversary, Awesomely Shitty!




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