24
Mar
12

The Zen of Spam 2

Maintaining a blog for three and a half years has its perks. One of the best parts is getting great spam messages in the comment inbox. While most of them are links to porn sites or incoherent gibberish, there are some that are comedic gems. I have listed some of my favorites, in no particular order. Read them and meditate. To understand them is to achieve enlightenment.

  • Hi Jslittlelady, Enjoyed your post, sure did bring back some memories. I have come to really love the OTK spankings, they are my favorite. .I hate it when sailor puts me over the bed, then I know I am really in for it. .Hugs .Lil Sam
Dude, I think you got the wrong blog. Jslittlelady does not work here. And which post reminded you of a sailor putting you over a bed and spanking you? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that some people are able to get off just by reading Awesomely Shitty. After all, it is an amazing blog.
  • Alright this is my final idea, CPBO: Club Penguin Black Ops. I was thinking maybe it could be a secret branch of CPR. I have the uniform already too, The Rescue helmet,Red sun glasses, Red guitar, Climbing Backpack, Hiking boots, and the Ninja Suit ( cause the Black Ops need to be the best ). Thats my army idea. Please approve. O and if you approve i was thinking our first mission could be to go undercover and see if ACP is really “Attackers/Anti Club Pengiun or Army of Club Penguin”. Once again please approve. Takashiemiko Rangers Lead The Way!!
Club Penguin Black Ops? As a secret branch of CPR? So while you’re doing chest compressions some ninjas in penguin suits come in to attack backpackers? Now I’m starting to get confused. I really don’t see how that’s going to improve CPR, but I guess I’ll try anything once.
What is it that I’m not supposed to know about gays? I know they can be like a secret society, but is this some kind of doomsday warning? Please tell me! Now I’m getting really worried! And what does this have to do with Conan the Barbarian? Does it promote some kind of secret gay agenda? Somebody help!
  • Banana BlogCuckold watching his wife fucking with a black guyFood TV – Great British Food 
Banana BlogCuckold sounds like an awesome name for a band. Or my next website. Or a child. Really, it would work for anything.
  • Woah this blog is wonderful i love reading your articles. Keep up the good paintings! You already know, many people are searching around for this information, you can help them greatly. — AND — Woah this blog is excellent i love studying your posts. Keep up the good paintings! You already know, lots of people are hunting around for this information, you can aid them greatly.
I’m glad you enjoy my paintings. To be honest, I didn’t know I ever made any paintings. I had no idea so many people were searching for them. — AND — I’m glad you enjoy my paintings. To be honest, I didn’t know I ever made any paintings. I had no idea so many people were searching for them.
  • You may have not intended to do so, but I think you have managed to express the state of mind that a lot of people are in.
This message was in reference to my Conan post. Clearly, people are in agreement that it really is the best movie ever made. Far better than Citizen Kane at any rate. But I have to wonder if you’re saying this because of the film’s secret gay agenda. Holy shit, I am going around promoting a secret gay agenda just by lauding the movie? Somebody help!
  • Hrm, Not the best post unfortunately. Sorry to be so blunt! You should try some Norwegian carrot cake ( gulrotkake langpanne ) to cheer you up instead.
OK, I will admit that my post on Devil May Cry wasn’t exactly the greatest thing I’ve ever written, but it wasn’t because I was depressed or anything. Also, carrot cake is not going to cheer me up. It’s possibly my least favorite cake. Who ever heard of putting vegetables in a cake anyway? Nazis? Although, if someone ever made me a Banana BlogCuckold cake, I would eat that.
  • By us at times to grasp more facts and facts regarding Drop in on us contemporary to buy more facts and facts anyway
I suppose if I ever needs more facts and facts regarding more facts and facts I will indeed drop in.
  • Remodelled Year’s Day is observed on January 1, the to begin period of the year on the with it Gregorian docket as well as the Julian chronicle employed in primordial Rome. With most countries using the Gregorian slate as their main date-book, Modish Year’s Time is the closest preoccupation to being the men’s lone genuinely global community fete, usually noted with fireworks at the movement of midnight as the chic year starts. January 1 on the Julian calendar currently corresponds to January 14 on the Gregorian date-book, and it is on that old that followers of some of the Eastern Orthodox churches praise the Restored Year.
Remodelled Year’s Day is my favorite holiday. Even though it began in primordial Rome, I still highlight it every year in my Gregorian slate main date-book. And why shouldn’t we celebrate chic years with fireworks? It sounds to me like you’re nothing more than a prude, Spam Bot.
  • In other bad news, the bad wizard puts a slave collar that only he can take off around the neck of a girl wizard, forcing her to do stuff for him.
This was in reference to my post on the new Muppets movie. I think we were watching different films. I don’t recall wizards or slave collars or BDSM as you suggest. Although, a hardcore Muppets movie could be pretty badass.
  • Wedding limousine…
You don’t say… and all in bold, too…
  • good thing many of us gots the internetz
I agree in principle, however, I think people should be required to get above a certain score on an IQ test before being allowed to post. Also, people should be required to get above a certain score on an IQ test before being allowed to run for political office. Wouldn’t the government look different then?
  • I’m in my first year at university buy cheap tramadol online cod some truly superb information, Sword lily I discovered this.
Sword lily, thanks for the heads-up on the cheap tramadol cod. Personally, I’ve never been a big fan of cod, so I don’t think I’ll go for it. Now if you had some cheap tramadol salmon, we’d be talking.
  • If you are serious and want to earn serious money online with your website, watch this free video to discover the secret system to do that at easyprofitbot2
Thanks for the tips, Easy Profit Bot 2. I am serious and I do want to earn serious money, but I suspect that no one is going to pay for my shitty reviews. I only write them out of love.
  • everybody robbers on adominable egernt
Holy shit! Are you fucking serious?
  • Abercrombie kids is the younger sibling of abercrombie and fitch
I guess technically this is true.
  • what is some fun online sites to blog on and make fun posts besides facebook and tumblr?
*looks at URL* You mean besides WordPress?
  • Great design first thing… Second thing the prespective at which you see the sport is quite neutral quite in my words wikipedia style. This is a welcome change from people who are either racist or support a particular agenda.!
Neutrality is what I’m best known for.
  • Hi What do you thing about below diet supplement? I’m going to buy something good for muscle growth. Please give me a piece of advice. Horse Power
What do I thing? I thing that Horse Power sounds like an awesome name for a diet supplement. Almost as good as Banana BlogCuckold.

There you have it. A profound collection of spam. I hope you liked it. Consider your mind expanded. Or blown. Whichever works.

Click here to check out last year’s Zen of Spam.

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6 Responses to “The Zen of Spam 2”


  1. March 24, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    Damn love that. Some spam actually rocks in a way. Thanks for posting.

  2. March 25, 2012 at 8:58 am

    I absolutely love some of the spam comments I get, especially the ones that make absolutely no sense. I don’t think I’ve quite yet gotten a collection this diverse though, it was a blast reading through them.

  3. March 26, 2012 at 4:06 am

    Ahhhhh Spam.

    Yeah, I get some good ones, too. I’m sure every blogger does. There are times when I’m tempted to approve it for comedy purposes right there on the post, but then they’d have been approved which basically equals permission to bomb my blog whenever they wanted and I dont want that. :(

    Glad you’re around to point out the idiocy of this stuff! What’s the motivation for these people? Seriously, is there even money involved somehow? Hard to fathom anyone gets even a dollar richer because of it.

  4. March 26, 2012 at 9:23 am

    @ Azure James: Glad you enjoyed the post.

    @ Bubbawheat: I wish I could comment on all the great spam posts I get. Sometimes, there are too many and they are all comedic gold.

    @Fogs: Some of them come with links to obviously virus-filled websites, but a lot of them don’t. It’s like someone programmed a bot to post incomprehensible comments to blogs for no reason other than for the hell of it.

  5. March 29, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    I wish my spam was this good. Sadly, the name “Auditory Rape” only seems to attract extreme fetish porn spam by the boat load.

  6. 6 Sam Fragoso
    March 30, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    I put in a blocker for spam, so I don’t receive the amount I used to (50-70 comments) per day.

    Fun post indeed.

    Glad to have you in the LAMB. We always love new members.


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