As you can see, the logo at the top of the page has changed once again. It’s the fourth banner featured at Awesomely Shitty. This stunning artwork was brought to you by Chaz the Silencer, the same genius who created the site’s second banner. He’s obviously a rock star, a sex god, and a pillar of humanity. Be sure to check out his blog to pay the man some respect. I really like this logo for a few reasons. First, the colors are fantastic. Second, it is unique and funny. And third, it features an example of something awesome and something shitty (with the shitty thing getting destroyed): Conan the Barbarian and Lucky Star. Well, I hope you like it, too, because you’ll be looking at it for at least a year. Hopefully, Awesomely Shitty will continue to be your go-to place for the worst reviews on the Internet in 2013!
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Four years already, huh? That’s a long time filled with a lot of insults. If this blog was a four year old human, it would be able to do a lot of stuff by now, including:
- Cooperates with other children –> there is a blog roll on the side of the page
- Talks about interests and disinterests –> that much is obvious
- Can’t tell the difference between real and make-believe –> that would explain my unadulterated rage
- Knows basic rules of grammar such as “he” or “she” –> in light of the “irregardless” post, I’d say this is a yes
- Can sing a song or poem such as “Wheels on the bus” –> at least this involves singing
- Tells stories –> such as the Tale of the iPhone
- Can say first and last name –> you mean “Awesomely” and “Shitty”, right?
- Knows the names of some colors and numbers –> as long as they are black, white, red, orange, and blue – and let’s just forget the whole numbers thing
- Understands the idea of counting –> Transformers 1, Transformers 2, Transformers 3, etc.
- Uses scissors –> but only to cut out pictures of Michael F. Assbender and put them on my wall
- Plays board or card games –> do drinking games count?
- Hops and stands on one foot for two seconds –> too lazy to try
- Catches a bounced ball –> too lazy to try
- Can pour own drinks –> for the aforementioned drinking games
Wow, it’s just like this blog is a real person! So, happy (shitty) four year anniversary to me! Until next time, amigos (fuckos).
I’m not someone who is really into awards. Usually, they are just an excuse for people to congratulate themselves, and serve as nothing more than an ego boost for the fragile and simple-minded. However, I am really into promoting myself. I’ll do it in any number of grotesque and degrading manners. So, if I have to talk about awards in order to self-promote, then so be it.
I recently joined the Large Association of Movie Blogs (AKA largeassmovieblogs lol) as a means to get my hate filled messages out to the masses. They are doing an annual award for the members of the association. I figured, hey why not try and get nominated for something? After all, this is the best/worst blog on the internet. I should at least be eligible for most offensive blog, right?
While I think you should nominate me for everything, I probably have the best shot at the following: Funniest Writer (look no further than the hipster post), Best Ratings System (all the other writers use stars, letter grades, or no rating at all – my system of Awesome – Good – Average – Bad – Shitty clearly is way more imaginative), Best Running Feature (Classically Shitty or Four Horsemen of the Filmmaking Apocalypse), and Best Movie Reviewer (who else will honestly stick it to Hollywood time and time again?).
So, if I’ve ever made you laugh (or more likely get super angry), then head on over to The Lamb and nominate me. Nominate me for whatever you want. The poll is a link near the bottom of the page. If not, go to hell. That is all.
Everybody hates it when their favorite website changes. Whether it’s the background, the header, the formatting, or an entirely new theme. Change throws people into panic and rage. Fortunately, Awesomely Shitty is no one’s favorite website, so I don’t think anyone will mind if I change the logo. Many thanks go out to myself for the fantastic design this year. Feel free to leave your comments about how much I ruined the website by changing the logo. Or don’t.
After writing this blog solo for three and a half years, it looks like a newcomer is stepping up to the plate to lend me a hand. Mrs. Brik is going to be contributing some posts every so often. Having a woman around should class this joint up a bit, don’t you think? But don’t let her gender fool you. She’s every bit as sarcastic as me, and hates pretty much everything, too. We are really a match made in heaven. On second thought, she’s even more hardcore than I am. If you thought I hated everything, well, her cynicism puts me to shame. I look like Pollyanna in comparison. Anyway, expect a post from Mrs. Brik soon, and enjoy.
Well, I finally decided to join Twitter. Don’t ask me why, I have no clue. Like all my endeavors, it most likely occurred in a drunken haze. As I mentioned before, Twitter is Facebook’s younger, mentally challenged cousin. At least now I can post random shit nobody cares about with more frequency. So, for the three of you out there that read this site, you can now read a few updates in the interim between my regular blog posts. As this site happens to be the best/worst blog on the internet, I hope that @awesomelyshitty can be best/worst Twitter feed on the internet. Click here to check it out. I normally would think of this as selling out, but then again, I don’t get paid.
Another year has come and gone, and people keep on telling me what an idiot I am for trashing their favorite shows in my 20 Shittiest Anime of the Decade post. Let’s face facts, people. If you really think that Kanon was something more than a decroded piece of crap then you should just accept that our taste in anime is incompatible. I like stuff that’s good, and you like shit. Of course, shit being popular is what keep the world economy going, and also what fuels the fire for my outrage, which in turn keeps this blog going. Also, I’ve paradoxically been accused of being a hipster, which means that some people failed to read my post on Fake Indie Movies. Overall, it has been a good year. I got a new logo, tons of great spam, and I completed my expose on the 4 Horsemen of the Film-Making Apocalypse. I can’t ask for much more than that. So, until the day that the world comes to its senses and stops endorsing shitty entertainment, I’ll keep posting reviews of things I hate (and sometimes love). After all, this is the best/worst blog on the Internet. Happy (shitty) three year anniversary, Awesomely Shitty!
Readers of this website are amongst the most sophisticated on the internet. One such intrepid reader is none other than male supermodel Chaz the Silencer. When he’s not busy wooing beautiful women in southern France, rescuing kittens from burning buildings, or building schools in Africa, he likes to dabble in graphic design. His most recent effort was to create the stunning new Awesomely Shitty logo which now graces this website. He did a fantastic job. I don’t know how he found the time considering he is brokering a peace treaty in the Middle East and developing cold fusion. Nevertheless, his work is greatly appreciated. Thanks, Chaz. For the rest my world-class readers, stay sexy, and I hope you enjoy the new logo.
Somehow I’ve managed to keep this blog afloat for two years. To those of you out there who read it, thanks for the support. I plan on keeping it alive until either I get bored or shut down by The Man, because The Man liked Transformers 2 way too much to let me keep on writing about how it sucked. So for now until some unknown time in the future, I’ll keep posting really shitty reviews of things I hate (and sometimes love). After all, this is the best/worst blog on the Internet. Happy (shitty) two year anniversary, Awesomely Shitty!
Despite popular belief, this blog is not quite dead yet. A combination of vacation, school, applications, and general laziness have all prevented me from doing any updates. However, things are starting to get back to normal now. Eventually, something will really piss me off and I’ll have a lot to write about. I have some non-piss-me-off things to mention, too, but it’s really not as much fun writing about those, you know? Expect some updates soon.