I recently decided to watch all three Pirates of the Caribbean movies back to back. I wasn’t sure what to expect. It was either going to be a hell of a lot of fun, or so bad that I’d wind up strangling myself with a belt. I saw these in the theater upon their initial releases, and haven’t seen them since. All I could remember was Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow, wearing makeup, and acting quasi-gay. To make matters worse, these were all very popular, and, like Transformers 2, popular things are often horrible. Not to mention, it’s a film series based on a ride at Disneyland/World. There were a lot more things going against this trilogy than going for it. But, as I always say, sometimes you just gotta shit your pants, and — wait, that’s not it — how does that saying go — oh nevermind, let’s just get on with the review.
The Curse of the Black Pearl
Jack Sparrow: Gentlemen, m’lady, you will always remember this day as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow.
Norrington: That is, without a doubt, the worst pirate I’ve ever seen.
The first of the series, from 2003, is certainly the strongest of them all. It has a fun vibe running through it, and it doesn’t give a shit if you don’t like it. One of the most interesting things about this movie is that Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is not the main character. The two main leads are Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley). Sparrow shows up from time to time and affects people and situations, but he isn’t integral to the plot. He has his own motives, and sometimes they align with the heroes and sometimes with the villains. Interestingly, he is also the comic relief of the film, not so much as he’s written, but due to Depp’s quirky portrayal. His introductory scene, where his tiny boat sinks but he still manages to step gracefully onto the dock was pretty damn funny. Continue reading ‘A Pirate’s Life for Me’