18
Feb
17

Classically Shitty: Solaris

This 1972 film from the Soviet Union has been called a masterpiece by film aficionados across the globe. As you well know by now, film-fags and myself have very different opinions on what constitutes a masterpiece. For them, they like crap. I shouldn’t judge them; everyone is entitled to their own opinion. For me, though, I like movies that are actually good. You know, the opposite of Solaris.

The main character of Solaris is a space psychologist named Kris Kelvin. Oh man, space psychologist, what an awesome profession. How many years of training does one need to get that specialized? Anyway, the crew of the space station Solaris have been acting bonkers, so the Soviets recruit Kelvin to check it out. He reluctantly agrees to go. He spends the first thirty minutes of the movie sulking.

Once he arrives, he finds the space station in disarray. One of the crew members (a friend of Kelvin’s) had committed suicide, and the other two act evasive and batty. Kelvin starts hallucinating his dead wife (also a suicide), which he promptly launches into space.

Continue reading ‘Classically Shitty: Solaris’

11
Feb
17

Interstellar: The Girls Keep Getting Older, But the Spaceman Stays the Same Age

Christopher Nolan has a pretty good track record. His Dark Knight trilogy was excellent, and some of his other films like Memento and Inception have gone on to be modern classics. Unfortunately, Nolan finally hit a stumbling block with his ninth film.

Interstellar wants to be a space epic in the vein of 2001: A Space Odyssey. It also wants to feature a labyrinthine mystery like Memento and be mindfucky like Inception. Sadly, though, it’s none of those things. It just gets bogged down under its own weight and Nolan’s ill-advised aspirations.

Continue reading ‘Interstellar: The Girls Keep Getting Older, But the Spaceman Stays the Same Age’

04
Feb
17

Safety Nation Free This Weekend

If you haven’t picked up a copy yet (and you know who you are), then now is the time to do it. This weekend only (February 4-5), the ebook of Safety Nation will be completely free on Amazon. What are you waiting for? It’s time to get it already. Unless you hate things that are good. You don’t hate things that are good, do you?

Click here for your free copy of Safety Nation!

28
Jan
17

The Mist, Trainwreck

The Mist

A 2007 adaptation of a Stephen King novel directed by Frank Darabont seems like a recipe for success. After all, the two of them made fan-favorite The Shawshank Redemption. Sadly, though, this movie was a misfire for everyone involved. It takes places in a sleepy Maine town that gets overrun by a mysterious mist. What’s in the mist? Giant bugs and tentacle monsters (*facepalm*). The characters crowd inside a supermarket while they try to wait out the pending apocalypse, but the group loses cohesion and the fight to stay alive becomes exponentially harder.

There are all kinds of problems with this movie. Foremost is the absurd length. It’s over two hours long, and for what essentially boils down to a monsters-killing-everyone flick, that’s about thirty minutes longer than it needs to be. The pacing of the scenes between the monsters is laborious, and the film drags most of the time. And when the monsters come out, the incredibly dated CGI makes them more hilarious than frightening.

None of the characters are remotely interesting, and there is nothing for the audience to latch onto. The only good thing about this movie was the ballsy, super-dark ending. I hadn’t expecting something so bleak, and it definitely worked. But watching the dreck that came before didn’t make it worthwhile.

Verdict: Shitty

Trainwreck

Trainwreck falls squarely into the “check out the socially-inept, rude, funny, fat chick” genre of comedy films. Written and starring Amy Schumer, Trainwreck fails to bring anything new to the table, and instead recycles the same clichéd relationship jokes that have been done a million times over. None of the characters are relatable, from the unbelievably oversexed Schumer to the as-exciting-as-paint-drying Bill Hader. There is a bizarre subplot with Schumer’s father, played by a young Colin Quinn, suddenly getting dementia, being put in a home, and dying. It is strange because he acts normal, is way too young to have dementia, let alone be her father, and it adds nothing of value to the story. In the end, Schumer and Hader’s characters break up, and they get back together without an apology or any growth on the part of Schumer’s deplorable character. I admit I laughed at some of the jokes, and, most surprising of all, LeBron James was the highlight of the film. Overall, though, it’s not worth it.

Verdict: Bad

21
Jan
17

Rogue One: A BrikHaus Review

Another year, and another Hollywood attempt to cash in on peoples’ childhoods. This time, it comes (again) in the form of Star Wars. The last movie, The Force Awakens, turned out to be nothing more than a thinly veiled remake of the original. It was watchable in the same sense that McDonald’s is edible. You can eat it, and maybe even enjoy it in the moment, but later on you feel sick and full of regret. That means the odds were already stacked against Rogue One.

Rogue One is a prequel to the original trilogy. Star Wars prequels have an abysmal track record, but George Lucas didn’t have anything to do with this one. So, I went into it hopeful that, at the very least, it wouldn’t be a total clusterfuck. Thankfully, it wasn’t.

Continue reading ‘Rogue One: A BrikHaus Review’

18
Jan
17

Safety Nation Review Copies Available

Do you have a blog where you frequently/occasionally/rarely review books? Or maybe you review movies, but are interested in reviewing something different?

Are you interested in a free copy of Safety Nation?

Well, today is your lucky day. If you are a blogger, and are interested in reading my novel (and how could you not be?), send me an email at: brikhaus81 at gmail dot com. I will send you a free review copy of the ebook. Of course,  you need to have an actual, legitimate website for this to work.

All you need to do is read the book and publish a review of it to get the word out to your readers. Pretty sweet deal, right?

If you’re interested, let me know. For those of you who have already grabbed copies, I hope you are enjoying it!

12
Jan
17

Safety Nation is Now Available

Today’s the day, my first novel, Safety Nation, is available for purchase! I hope you have enjoyed getting to read the first 100 pages, because now you have to buy the book to read the rest.

Here’s how you can buy it. For the first 90 days, Safety Nation will be available exclusively on Amazon. You can buy the ebook or the paperback. Once the 90-day exclusivity period is over, the ebook will be available from all the other major retailers. The paperback will always be exclusive through Amazon.

Of course, the ebook is cheaper, but let me take a minute to convince you to buy the paperback. Why? Because it’s fucking gorgeous, that’s why. It’s sturdy, professionally bound, and has a velvety matte finish. And let’s not forget how amazing the cover art it. I’m getting horny just thinking about it. The paperback also lets you see my chosen fonts, which isn’t possible on the Kindle format. With that, you just get whatever fonts come pre-loaded on the e-reader. Besides, in today’s digital world, isn’t it nice to hold an actual book in your hands?

If you’re worried about the price, don’t be. I only take home, like, 20% of the price, with the rest going back for production costs and Amazon’s cut. At the end of the day, I’m not making a killing off this thing. I just want you to read the best possible version of it.

If you still don’t believe me, have a look and see how well the book turned out.

You can get either the ebook or the paperback, it doesn’t really matter to me. Just as long as you read it!

Click here to purchase it.

Thanks, everyone, who helped make this book possible.




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