Hell’s Kitchen – Season 1

Ramsay Kicks Some Ass

Ramsay Kicks Some Ass

Today I finished watching the first season of Hell’s Kitchen. I recently got on a big Chef Ramsay kick when I checked out his other show, Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares. On that one he goes from one disastrous restaurant to another, and tries to fix them up. Unfortunately, the people that run these places are completely retarded, and think he has no idea what he’s talking about. Ramsay is great, though. He tells people exactly how it is. Some people need to be told that their food is shit, or they are a dumbass. It’s the only way to get them to listen. We’re just too polite to each other. If we actually grew a pair, and told people the truth, I think a lot more stuff would get done. It’s like the goddamn road I live on. They started construction on it in February, and projected it to be finished at the end of April. Well, it’s now the middle of July, and there are still huge fucking holes and construction equipment everywhere. You can’t even go South on the road, only North. So, it’s a huge pain in the ass to go anywhere. If someone would just get these fuckers in gear (I don’t know if it’s the government running the thing, or the illegal immigrants doing the work) then this project might actually get done, albeit half a year late.

Anyway, back to Ramsay. On his show Hell’s Kitchen, he takes on a group of nobodies, and has them cook up his world-class cuisine. These people are largely a bunch of schmucks, and can’t cook for shit. This, combined with Ramsay screaming profanities at people for their constant fuck-ups, makes for great television. In true reality TV fashion, someone gets eliminated each week. The twist on Hell’s Kitchen is that there are no winners, but rather only those people who were the “least bad.” It’s a hell of a lot of fun watching him yell at peoples’ ineptitude. He’s like the House or Simon Cowell of cooking, except way more hardcore. He is the most intense guy on television, by far. I know if I ever worked for this guy, I would probably pee my pants, and then he’d beat the shit out of me for not having big enough bollocks. This fucker is scary. But in a good way. An incredibly entertaining way. Watching Hell’s Kitchen is like watching a car crash. You want to see everything that happens, but you don’t want to be a participant.

Watch out, bitches

Watch out, bitches

The first season was really good, although somewhat predictable when it came to figuring out who he was going to eliminate. I liked Michael, Elsie, Jessica, and Ralph the best. Jimmy won a special place in my heart for making it so far without having much cooking skill at all. In the end I wanted Michael to win out over everyone else, because he seemed to be the most innovative cook amongst them. Deep down I think that Chef Ramsay didn’t want to declare anyone as the ultimate winner. Did any of those jokers really deserve to win their own restaurant? No, not really. That’s the kind of shit you have to earn for yourself, not just survive 10 episodes on a reality show to get. Nevertheless, this was really entertaining. There was tons of drama, and a hell of a lot of comedy, mostly coming from Chef Ramsay chewing out his unskilled crew. I kind of feel sorry for the guy, being one of the top chefs in the world, and having to watch his food be prepared by people who know less about cooking than the staff of Del Taco. I find it kind of surprising that someone of his caliber would agree to do this show again, after all the fuckups from the first season. How many times did he have to shut down his kitchen, anyway? All but once? He must enjoy it, getting to yell at clueless morons. Either that, or Fox pays him really well.

I have to admit that I’m a bit of a reality TV junkie. Some of it is awesome, and some of it is incredibly shitty. Yet, I can’t stop watching it. If you’re looking for a cooking show with some bite, and a reality show that doesn’t pull any punches, then Hell’s Kitchen is definitely for you. Chef Gordon Ramsay is the man, and if I wasn’t dirt poor, I’d eat at one of his restaurants.

Verdict: Awesome


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July 2008
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