Archive for March 5th, 2009

05
Mar
09

Horrible Roommates

My roommate is an undeniably huge asshole. Here is a list of things that he does (perhaps intentionally, I’m not sure) to piss me off:

  1. Throws twist-ties from plastic bags on the kitchen floor, even though the trash can is two feet away.
  2. Spills juice / drops food on the floor and doesn’t clean it up.
  3. Leaves 500 pairs of shoes in the entryway, strategically placed for me to trip over every time I enter or leave the apartment.
  4. When asked to clean up his messes, he says that he will, but doesn’t do it.
  5. When yelled at to clean up his messes, he assures me he will, but still doesn’t do it.
  6. Takes 30 minute showers (with the temperature as hot as possible) and then runs the bathroom sink for 15 minutes (also with the temperature as hot as possible) while he shaves. After all of this, if I try to take a shower, the water is ice cold.
  7. Doesn’t turn the shower all the way off, so the water is on all day long, which runs up the utility bill.
  8. Runs the heater in the summer, and the air conditioner in the winter.
  9. Starts talking and interrupts whatever I’m watching on TV without waiting for a commercial.
  10. Slams cabinet doors, bangs pots and pans, and rattles around the kitchen in the middle of the night, waking me up.
  11. Put knives into the knife block upside down.
  12. Runs the dryer at 7am while I’m trying to sleep.
  13. Leaves rotting food in the trash can so that the entire apartment smells like garbage.
  14. Explodes food in the microwave, and leaves toast in the toaster for up to a week at a time.
  15. Never turns off my DVD player, and it may remain on for up to 24 hours.
  16. Is able to run the dishwasher, but unable to empty it.
  17. Sleeps from 5pm to 2am, so if I watch TV with the volume on it always wakes him up.
  18. Doesn’t understand why I am constantly annoyed with him, and spend as little time at home as possible.
  19. Is generally inconsiderate, and has no idea how to live with other humans.
  20. Thinks his behavior is completely normal.

Do you have a horrible roommate? Let me know what they do to piss you off.

Verdict: Shitty




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