05
Mar
09

Horrible Roommates

My roommate is an undeniably huge asshole. Here is a list of things that he does (perhaps intentionally, I’m not sure) to piss me off:

  1. Throws twist-ties from plastic bags on the kitchen floor, even though the trash can is two feet away.
  2. Spills juice / drops food on the floor and doesn’t clean it up.
  3. Leaves 500 pairs of shoes in the entryway, strategically placed for me to trip over every time I enter or leave the apartment.
  4. When asked to clean up his messes, he says that he will, but doesn’t do it.
  5. When yelled at to clean up his messes, he assures me he will, but still doesn’t do it.
  6. Takes 30 minute showers (with the temperature as hot as possible) and then runs the bathroom sink for 15 minutes (also with the temperature as hot as possible) while he shaves. After all of this, if I try to take a shower, the water is ice cold.
  7. Doesn’t turn the shower all the way off, so the water is on all day long, which runs up the utility bill.
  8. Runs the heater in the summer, and the air conditioner in the winter.
  9. Starts talking and interrupts whatever I’m watching on TV without waiting for a commercial.
  10. Slams cabinet doors, bangs pots and pans, and rattles around the kitchen in the middle of the night, waking me up.
  11. Put knives into the knife block upside down.
  12. Runs the dryer at 7am while I’m trying to sleep.
  13. Leaves rotting food in the trash can so that the entire apartment smells like garbage.
  14. Explodes food in the microwave, and leaves toast in the toaster for up to a week at a time.
  15. Never turns off my DVD player, and it may remain on for up to 24 hours.
  16. Is able to run the dishwasher, but unable to empty it.
  17. Sleeps from 5pm to 2am, so if I watch TV with the volume on it always wakes him up.
  18. Doesn’t understand why I am constantly annoyed with him, and spend as little time at home as possible.
  19. Is generally inconsiderate, and has no idea how to live with other humans.
  20. Thinks his behavior is completely normal.

Do you have a horrible roommate? Let me know what they do to piss you off.

Verdict: Shitty

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5 Responses to “Horrible Roommates”


  1. 1 Patti
    March 8, 2009 at 10:33 am

    Wow, I know how you feel. I seriously think some people are just idiots and just don’t understand what it means to be respectful and considerate. I have 3 roommates and 2 of them are just perplexing. They don’t clean, can’t put stuff in the dishwasher most of the time (though it’s right next to the sink), leave their belongings in the living room, leave toe nail clippings on the coffee table, never clean up their nastiness from the bathroom sinks, and the list goes on. I mentioned them in my blog often enough that they have their own categories “rant” and “roommates.” It really is a sad situation when they just don’t get it or don’t care.

  2. 2 Chee
    March 12, 2009 at 12:00 am

    I once had a roommate that left human shit in the shower. It may or may not have been his.

    HUMAN SHIT IN THE FUCKING SHOWER.

  3. June 8, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    LOL! Yeah my roommate automatically assumes EVERYONE likes his crappy music and plays it really loud with the door open…and this happens EVERY TIME I want to sleep.

    It’s like he knows ESP or someshit.

  4. September 15, 2009 at 9:35 pm

    My room mate is such a lazy messy fuck. Only reason I live with him is cause I can’t afford rent alone.

    1. He has no job and collects unemployment and sits at home all day.

    2. He does illegal drugs in the apartment

    3. He invites shady people over {like drug dealers}.

    4. He leaves his dishes in the sink for days. (sometimes he doesn’t even get them to the sink)

    5. He leaves shit scattered all over the living room, kitchen, and laundry room.

    6. He’s fat and disgusting to look at.

    7. He sometimes smokes in the apartment and thinks I won’t smell it

    8. He got a dog that I told him I don’t want (were not supposed to have dogs at this apt. anyway).

    9. He always wakes me up when I’m sleeping before I have to work. (whether it’s from his dog yelping because he beats it or the loud T.V.

    10. He always leaves MY big screen tv on all night and it ruins the color tubes.

    11.He has no respect for anyone or their things.

    12. He had the fucking nerve to ask me to loan him money.

    13. He takes my beer and says he’ll pay me back for them, he never does.

    14.I constantly clean up his fucking messes and he just makes more.

    15.The people he invites over he tells to use my bathroom cause his is fucking disgusting.

    16. I hate his annoying laugh, I hate, how he talks, I hate that fucking slob.

  5. 5 madeline7d
    December 11, 2011 at 12:37 am

    College Roomate. A good person overall. However…

    1. When I speak to her or ask her something, I can never hear a damn thing she says. She mutters like a robot, and when I say I can’t hear her, she says she’s sorry and shuts up.

    2. She’s stuck in high-school mode. Actually, all of the girls in my suite are. They have no other friends on campus, and they all talk about their high school lives. It doesn’t help that they all live within 25 miles of campus, while my roomate has easy enough access to her home (from New York to Connecticut). I have no relatives out here, so I’m stuck.

    3. Whenever I ask her (or mostly anyone else, actually) what there is to do around town, she ignores me.

    4. She has no ambitions. At all. Mind you, there’s a huge difference between that and not knowing what you’re doing with your life. She just doesn’t care, and does her homework at an inconsistent rate. Isn’t college about trying to find who you are and forging new experiences?

    5. Because I’m the only one who stays consistently in the dorm (see #2), she expects me to be home like I’m some kid. I was studying at a friend’s house (which I don’t do that often) and she had the nerve to call me and wanted me back. I told her I’d be out, and she (and everyone else) doesn’t say what she’s doing half the time when she goes out. How the hell was I supposed to know that you were at a concert? You don’t speak loud enough…

    6. I bough the TV for everyone. They all hog it.

    7. One suitemate from Washington State does absolutely nothing all day and is a heavy pot-smoker. So you came all the way from the west coast to be a freaking couch potato/stoner? And just who is paying for your education again?

    8. One suitemate likes to blather her life story to everyone (it had its low points, but she’s doing fine now) and believes that she’s holier-than-all because of it. She takes Facebook way too seriously.

    9. One suitemate is obnoxious and crass. She also takes Facebook way too seriously.

    10. Because Facebook is like the hammer of the gods in today’s world, #8 and #9 got in a screaming match that’s now BEING TAKEN TO COURT. I am not making this up. #9 deleted three suitemates from her Facebook, #8 screamed at her why, and one of the most pointless fights in history began. #8 now claims that #9 tried to beat her up. Keep in mind that #8 enjoys being melodramatic.

    11. They apparently find it weird that all of my friends aren’t in the dorm we’re staying in. What?


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