14
Apr
12

Justified Season 1, Captain America

Justified Season 1

If you see Raylan doing this to you, you’re probably dead.

This show is great. The main character is Raylan Givens, portrayed by Timothy Olyphant, and based on the same character who appeared in two Elmore Leonards novels and one short story. He is a U.S. Marshal, but fancies himself more of a modern-day cowboy. If given the chance, he’ll quick-draw on an enemy and shoot him down. Raylan also gives steely-eyed stare-downs, and plenty of badass lines to give Clint Eastwood a run for his money. The show has Raylan moving back to his home state of Kentucky after a debacle in Miami. There, he gets entagled with a group of Neo-Nazi drug dealers. It sounds bad, I know, but it is executed flawlessly. There is intricate layering to the story, and the character’s have dynamic interpersonal relationships and are fully realized. The acting is terrific. While the pacing of the series can be rather slow at times, only punctuated by short bursts of action, if you have the attention span to get through it, you will be rewarded with excellent characters and story.

Verdict: Good

Captain America

Moichandizing! Where the real money from the movie is made!

I refuse to write out this movie’s full title, since it is nothing more than a cog in the machine for Marvel’s stupid fucking Avengers movie/shitfest. Traditionally, superhero movies are terrible. Only in recent years have they become even remotely watchable. Captain America decides that the notion of a watchable superhero movie has become a cliche, and goes back to the days of really shitty superhero crap. This is one of the cheesiest, hokyiest, worst superhero movies I have ever seen. There isn’t anything good about this movie. For example, Nazis have ray guns, people are always mugging for the camera, Hugo Weaving chews so much scenery you eventually don’t have any props left, and of course Marvel’s favorite shtick: LOL LOOK THERE IS TONY STARKS DAD AND LOOK THERE IS SAMUEL L JACKSON THIS MOVIE TIES IN WITH ALL THE OTHER MARVEL MOVIES LOL! This movie is incompetently directed, horribly paced, terribly acted, and is all in all a cheesefest of monumental proportions. And not the good kind of cheese. Not tasty cheese. Moldy, rotten, nasty cheese that the rats won’t even touch. Fuck this movie.

Verdict: Shitty

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19 Responses to “Justified Season 1, Captain America”


  1. April 14, 2012 at 8:11 am

    Tell us how you really feel, Brik! 😀

    LOL… I agree that Cap underwhelmed. I dont know that I could muster all of THAT for it, but I wouldnt call you 100% off of your rocker.

  2. 3 Tarnsman
    April 16, 2012 at 11:03 am

    Captain America? I liked it better when it was called the Rocketeer. Truth be told, if Captain America had dropped the ray guns and just been about Captain America slaughtering Nazis (actual Nazis and not the Crimson Skull bullshit) preferably by repeatedly impaling them with an American flag, I probably would have liked it in a cheesy bad movie kind of way.

  3. 5 Chee
    April 17, 2012 at 7:36 am

    Captain America taught me not to watch superhero movies that don’t have Chris Nolan’s name on it. It didn’t even have X-Men: First Class’ comedy factor.

  4. April 26, 2012 at 5:05 am

    Capt. America was a big let down. It was GI Joe all over again. Only, I could accept GI Joe’s lameness. However. I’m on that Avengers bandwagon. Let’s see if I jump off after seeing the film.

    Justified – one of the best things on TV at the moment. Season 2 builds on season 1. Season 3 wasn’t as great, but Boyd Crowder – he is one brilliant character.

    • April 26, 2012 at 7:04 am

      Jaina, thanks for being the first person on here to respond about Justified. You are right, it really is one of the best things on TV at the moment. I enjoyed season 2 a lot, and am currently in the middle of season 3. So far 3 is my favorite, but we’ll see how it turns out in the end.

      • April 26, 2012 at 8:02 am

        Interesting. Season 2’s come out as my favourite because of Margo Martindale and her band of misfits.

        Season 3 has a fantastic ending. Looking forward to hearing what you make of it.

  5. 9 uptightdouchebag
    September 11, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    “…story, and the character’s have…” characters*

    And Captain America was the worst of the Avengers films. Did you review Thor, btw? It was my favorite, though it could have been better.

    • September 11, 2012 at 3:39 pm

      I never reviewed Thor. It was decent. There were a few things that annoyed me, but it was better than I had expected it to be. Captain America did suck major ass, but I’m not sure if it was worse than Iron Man 2. That would be a tough call.


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