15
Jul
12

Happy (Shitty) Four Year Anniversary

Four years already, huh? That’s a long time filled with a lot of insults. If this blog was a four year old human, it would be able to do a lot of stuff by now, including:

  • Cooperates with other children –> there is a blog roll on the side of the page
  • Talks about interests and disinterests –> that much is obvious
  • Can’t tell the difference between real and make-believe –> that would explain my unadulterated rage
  • Knows basic rules of grammar such as “he” or “she” –> in light of the “irregardless” post, I’d say this is a yes
  • Can sing a song or poem such as “Wheels on the bus” –> at least this involves singing
  • Tells stories –> such as the Tale of the iPhone
  • Can say first and last name –> you mean “Awesomely” and “Shitty”, right?
  • Knows the names of some colors and numbers –> as long as they are black, white, red, orange, and blue – and let’s just forget the whole numbers thing
  • Understands the idea of counting –> Transformers 1, Transformers 2, Transformers 3, etc.
  • Uses scissors –> but only to cut out pictures of Michael F. Assbender and put them on my wall
  • Plays board or card games –> do drinking games count?
  • Hops and stands on one foot for two seconds –> too lazy to try
  • Catches a bounced ball –> too lazy to try
  • Can pour own drinks –> for the aforementioned drinking games

Wow, it’s just like this blog is a real person! So, happy (shitty) four year anniversary to me! Until next time, amigos (fuckos).

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11 Responses to “Happy (Shitty) Four Year Anniversary”


  1. July 15, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Lol, best anniversary post I’ve ever seen.

  2. July 16, 2012 at 3:53 am

    Hope you had a happy shitty birthday.

    That Michael F. Assbender is the best post on the Internet. Full Stop. Or Period. To you Americans…

  3. July 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    I knew you had a fourth anniversary soon, I just wasn’t sure when it was.
    Happy Birthday, and keep posting your own shitty links in your awesome articles!

  4. 7 Branden
    July 16, 2012 at 7:31 pm

    Great having four shitty years writing.


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