Steins;Gate, Black Rock Shooter TV


Why are these stupid assholes in outer space?

Steins;Gate is a completely forgettable anime which, naturally, has almost universal acclaim as a “Masterpiece.” I’m not sure why, because it’s anything but a masterpiece. Piece of trash? Sure. Piece of crap? OK. Piece of cliche story recycled from better ones? Definitely. This show is about time travel. But it’s not really about time travel. It’s about moe bullshit. It likes to showcase cutesy girls and cutesy boys who look, talk, and act like girls in the most annoying fashion possible. The main character (who holds the trademark on the most grating laugh of all time) is constantly travelling back in time in 3-day intervals in order to prevent the death of his friend. In doing so, he fucks up things more and must do even more travelling to right the wrongs he caused. It’s a good concept when executed well. However, in this anime, it serves mostly as a method of showing the same crap over and over again, and letting us listen to girls who talk like cats in maid cafes. I’ll admit there were a couple of riveting episodes (number 13 comes to mind), but there was nowhere near enough material to last 24 episodes. This could have been great as a 2-hour movie, but since this is Japanese anime, they stretched it out to something bloated and not recognizable as good. A single day after I finished this series, I tried to remember how it concluded, but I couldn’t. It was so bland, so flat, that I couldn’t remember what happened one fucking day later. If that’s not a testament to mediocrity, I don’t know what is.

Verdict: Bad

Black Rock Shooter TV

At least she’s a hot alter-ego, right?

I complain about anime being too long so often it has almost become a mantra. In Black Rock Shooter’s case, they didn’t make the show unnecessarily long. At only 8 episodes, it is the perfect length to tell a compelling narrative and then conclude without pointless tangents. Unfortunately, Black Rock Shooter doesn’t have a compelling narrative to tell. It is a travesty, an insult to good story-telling. This is a school-age drama with cute girls homolusting after each other in the way they could only do in a Japanese anime. Simultaneously, we see a fantasy setting with the same girls blasting each other with high-tech weaponry and coming off without a scratch in the way they could only do in a Japanese anime. We learn that these are some kind of mysterious alter-egos of the main characters, living in an alternate dimension or something, and the reason they fight is because the real world people are sad. If their fantasy counterparts die, then the real world people become happy again. Black Rock Shooter kills all her friends in order to make their counterparts happy. Ummm… sure, why not? The grasp this anime has on logic is tenuous at best. The action scenes are cool to watch, but other than that, it has nothing else to offer. Unless, of course, you like shitty acting and shitty storytelling.

Verdict: Shitty

7 Responses to “Steins;Gate, Black Rock Shooter TV”

  1. 1 Flame Stag
    June 7, 2013 at 11:55 am

    Sorry Steins;Gate, you aren’t Star Trek and I never really wanted to see 24 more episodes of moeblob madness.

    • June 10, 2013 at 9:01 am

      Yeah, it’s really too bad. Steins;gate could have been really good if it was way shorter. And, no, it definitely is no Star Trek. Although between this and the new Star Trek, I’m not sure which I would rather watch. Both are pretty bad.

  2. 3 Anthony
    July 22, 2013 at 7:36 am

    I guess Steins;Gate could have benefitted from a fewer amount of episodes. Looking back at it, it does seem pretty crazy that it has over 20 episodes. Still, I thought that the time travel stuff was done relatively well. I never thought that showing the same timelines over again got tedious. It kind of added to how hopeless everything seemed for the main character, and as far as time travel in anime goes, I don’t think it did too bad.

  3. 4 Squiggsquasher
    August 21, 2013 at 4:27 am

    OK, I feel the need to defend Black Rock Shooter. I know it’s hardly the pinnacle of anime, but I still wouldn’t call it shitty. Yes, the story was a confusing mess, but I feel like they really, really tried to come up with something original. I know it didn’t exactly work, but I still think it’s at least commendable that they tried to put a twist on the tired “Japanese schoolgirl slice-of-life” anime formula instead of doing another Lucky Star or Kanon. Better to try and fail than to never try at all. Especially when the only real source material they had was a bunch of (actually pretty amazing) drawings by a guy who enjoyed doodling, and also a very short OVA.

    Also, on the technical side of things at least, it’s brilliant. The animation is striking and fluid, the CG is well integrated, the character designs are cool, the fight scenes are thoroughly enjoyable, and the soundtrack ia pretty great. To be honest I think it would have been better if they had ditched the school side of things and focused purely on the Otherworld and its inhabitants.

    And I think some recognition has to be given to Kagari. Ye gods, Kagari. That girl was terrifying.

    • August 31, 2013 at 7:39 am

      I agree that they should have just focused on the Otherworld. It would have been a lot stronger, and much more interesting. Yes, the animation was very good, and the CG looked nice, too. The OVA was far better executed. The TV series should have just taken off as a sequel to that, instead of trying a do-over. Thanks for the comment!

  4. 6 g
    March 18, 2014 at 11:13 am

    Good to know I was right thinking you wouldn’t like SG.

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June 2013


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