04
Oct
15

The Wolf of Wall Street, Blue Ruin

The Wolf of Wall Street

This movie trolls you right out of the gate. Matthew McConaughey shows up as the head of a big Wall Street firm, and positions himself to be Leonardo DiCaprio’s mentor. I was all pumped for some sweet, sweet McConaughey/DiCaprio action, but it turned out to be a bait-and-switch. McConaughey disappears completely. DiCaprio takes center stage as the loathsome central character. What follows next is a completely tiresome, three-hour-long masturbatory fantasy. DiCaprio engages in illegal activities to make himself the king of Wall Street. He and his compatriots party hard and often. There are probably a hundred scenes of them banging hookers and doing cocaine. Now, I’m as big a fan of cocaine and hookers as the next Hollywood executive, but once or twice would have been sufficient. I didn’t need to see it over and over again. The SEC investigates and eventually busts DiCaprio, but they don’t show up until the final hour of the movie. An entire hour of worthless party scenes could have been cut, and nothing would have changed. The only interesting part of the film is near the beginning when DiCaprio discovers he can get rich suckering people into buying Penny Stocks. Otherwise, nothing of interest happens. Other than the tits. Lots and lots of tits.

Verdict: Shitty

Blue Ruin

I like my revenge movies like the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic, Commando. I don’t like them to be about boring, mopey homeless guys. Blue Ruin is about a boring, mopey homeless guy who goes on a killing spree. He murders an ex-con, a dude who served time after killing the homeless dude’s parents. The dead con’s family takes the fight to the homeless guy’s family. The homeless guy, in turn, decides to kill all of them. But don’t mistake this for an action-packed thrill ride with cool explosions, shootouts, and hilarious one-liners. No, the boring, mopey homeless guy acts sullen as he trudges his way through a dreary life. The pacing is languid, and the tone is brooding. There’s very little here to entice a viewer, and the story is entirely forgettable. Good production values are about the only thing this movie has going for it. I wouldn’t recommend it.

Verdict: Bad

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10 Responses to “The Wolf of Wall Street, Blue Ruin”


  1. October 5, 2015 at 3:26 pm

    Aww, and here I thought you’d LOVE the Wolf Of Wall street *because* of all the tits. LOL

    Seriously, that film was filled with awesome stuff – DiCaprio and Jonah Hill absolutely fucked out of their brains trying not to call the FBI (or whatever) made me damn near pee my pants laughing, and Margot Robbie was sexy and cool as hell. Plus, swearing dude. And Jonah Hill’s fake cock. And Jon Bernthal.

  2. 3 Paragraph Film Reviews
    October 8, 2015 at 3:18 am

    I’m the same as you – thought the ‘Origin’ / Penny Stocks hour was alright but the rest was unnecessarily. “we’re showing you that this characters is decadent and debauched by literally showing you all of his decadence and debauchery”. Nice one MS, but we got it when he chucked a midget at a dart board…

    For me it felt like Michael Bay was trying to direct a Scorsese movie.

    The scene where he takes loads ‘ludes’ and tries to get back in to his car / drive home did have the cinema in stitches though.

  3. October 14, 2015 at 9:01 am

    100% with you on Wolf of Wall Street. The first time I attempted watching it I fell ASLEEP. Second time, forced myself through it and did not see the “genius” behind this film either. Felt like everything in that film was done for the sake of shock and awe.


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