24
Oct
15

Killer Joe, The Book Thief

Killer Joe

Seriously. What. The. Fuck?

This has got to be one of the craziest, stupidest, weirdest, most ridiculous pieces of shit put to celluloid in recent years. Basically, a kid decides to kill his mother so he can get the insurance money to pay off his debt from a loan shark. He doesn’t want to murder his own mother, so he hires a hitman played by Matthew McConaughey.

After the job is finished, McConaughey doesn’t leave. He skulks around the trailer park lusting over the kid’s younger, mentally retarded sister. They start banging, and he further ingrains himself into the family dynamic. Eventually, she gets pregnant with his demon spawn. The kid obviously doesn’t like this, and it’s super weird and creepy.

There is a completely bizarre scene at the end where McConaughey punches a lady in the face and makes her pretend to have oral sex on a drumstick. Everything ends as stupidly as it began with nothing making any sense, and everything being completely overwrought and ridiculous.

I think McConaughey was trolling us with this one. There was no way he thought the script was any good.

Verdict: Shitty

The Book Thief

There have to be about a billion World War II movies, and half of those are Holocaust movies. The Book Thief isn’t exactly a Holocaust movie, but it falls in the ballpark, focusing on Nazi atrocities. The problem with so many movies based on the same historical event is that they eventually lose their impact. Yes, the Holocaust was a horrific event that the world should always remember so it will never be repeated. But we have seen it so many times on film, it has begun to lose the visceral impact it once had.

The Book Thief adds nothing new to the genre, and actually detracts more than anything else. It’s about the plight of a young German girl who lives in an idyllic town throughout the course of the war. She joins the Hitler Youth, but becomes disgusted when they burn books. She begins to hide books in her basement as a means of preserving them.

Despite this being the title of the film, not much really comes of that. It’s not like her stealing books has any significant impact on the overall story. The world moves around the main character and she is completely ineffectual. Her actions do not advance the plot, or even really put her in much peril. She stands listlessly while the war ends on its own volition.

We get some super cheesy shit where Death itself actually narrates parts of the film. It speaks at the end and tells us the main character lived happily ever after. Whoopty-fucking-shit.

The Book Thief is failed Oscar-bait. They think the subject matter will make it a glorious success automatically. Unfortunately, the story is weak and done better a million times before. It’s hard to care much about a German girl who hides books with little to no personal danger when compared to the likes of Oscar Schindler who put himself in constant physical danger and ruined himself financially to save Jews.

Verdict: Shitty

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4 Responses to “Killer Joe, The Book Thief”


  1. 1 Themaster20000
    October 24, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    I enjoyed Killer Joe. I couldn’t help but laugh at how stupid the characters were,and I thought McConaughey did a good job in his role.

  2. October 26, 2015 at 2:07 am

    Yes Killer Joe was way beyond fucked up, but I couldn’t help but get into it. Though not the kind of film I’d rush back to watch again.


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