Homefront, The Descendants


The screenplay for this movie was written by Sylvester Stallone about 10 years ago. He put it on a shelf, and when he finally dusted it off, he realized he was too old to play the part. So, it got handed to Jason Statham who stars in this abysmal failure of a movie.

Statham stars as an ex-Interpol undercover agent or some stupid shit. He infiltrates a biker gang with the worst toupee I’ve seen in a long time. After taking them down in one night, he retires and settles down in the Deep South. Two years later, his badass daughter beats up a bully at school. The bully’s mom gets mad and hires her brother Gator (played with aplomb by James Franco) to get revenge. He, in turn, tells the biker gang where Statham lives so they can get revenge.

The whole movie feels like a setup. It’s like a trailer for a movie that never happens. You keep waiting and waiting for something to happen but it never does. The bikers finally show up when there are only about 15 minutes left. Statham kills them and saves his daughter. That’s it. Everything that came before was all a lead up to that, but there was no sense of dread or suspension or anything else. Nothing happens for the first hour and a half except for two really horrible CGI explosions.

Stallone left the script on the shelf for a reason. He should have realized that he didn’t make it 10 years ago because it sucked. Too bad his poor judgment got the better of him.

Verdict: Shitty

The Descendants

George Clooney plays the head of the King family, a wealthy white family in Hawaii. The rest of the family has squandered their inheritance, and they pressure Clooney to sell their undeveloped land in Kauai to hotel developers so they can continue their lavish lifestyles. Meanwhile, Clooney’s wife winds up in a coma, and he learns that she was having an affair.

The movie is a dramedy with heavy doses of drama and light bits of comedy sprinkled throughout. The story really works and, despite being about rich people, is highly relatable. We all have dysfunctional family members, and we all have faults. This movie portrays real people in a realistic way that makes them into easy touchstones for the viewer.

Clooney expertly maneuvers his way through the chaotic family. His acting skills are in top form as he is able to switch from drama to comedy with ease and not make the changes jarring.

The Descendants is an expertly written and directed movie. The lush Hawaiian setting makes for a nice change of pace, as well. It’s a great dramedy, one of the best examples of the genre. It is definitely worth checking out.

Verdict: Good


7 Responses to “Homefront, The Descendants”

  1. January 17, 2016 at 8:37 pm

    I’m the opposite here – I didn’t mind Homefront (recognising the abject faulire of it in almost every film-making sense) for what The Stath brought to it, and how stupid it all was. The Descendants bored the shit out of me.

  2. 3 Paragraph Film Reviews
    January 18, 2016 at 8:39 am

    Double headshot!!!

    I couldn’t believe how long it took Homefront to actually get to the action. Like it needed to spend more than 2 mins showing that Statham is a total badass!?!?!? All i really remember about it now is how the young girl had the face of a pensioner. Creepy old looking child. Probably a demon.

    Didn’t think you’d be keen on Descendants. That film properly ripped my heart out. Saw it at the cinema and spend about 10 mins in my car in the parking lot in silence, contemplating life!!! Great film, and all the better for being so funny.

  3. 5 Dober
    January 22, 2016 at 8:09 am

    I remember watching The Descendants and would agree it’s a good film and that Clooney’s performance is very good. Also I found couple of scenes with his daughter plain hilarious.

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January 2016


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