12
Mar
16

Deadpool AKA Skull Poop L

Hey, guys, I just wanted to let you know about this movie called Deadpool. You probably haven’t heard of it. It was released a month ago, and it totally slipped under the radar. It probably won’t be playing much longer, and you probably won’t get a chance to see it. I suppose it might do well enough to get a DVD release someday. On the off chance you are interested in this film, check out my review.

Deadpool is a superhero movie. Well, at least they say it’s a superhero movie, but I’m not so sure. You see, Deadpool kills a lot of people. A LOT. He kills them in cold blood, which doesn’t seem like a very heroic thing to do. And while he’s killing them, he’s saying all kinds of one-liners. He actually tells jokes while he kills people. Have you ever heard of such a thing in a movie before? It’s mind-boggling.

Anyway, the main character is this ridiculously attractive/muscular guy named Ryan Reynolds. For some reason, he spends all his time in a dive bar instead of banging supermodels. It doesn’t make a lot of sense. Eventually, he meets a prostitute and falls in love. They have sex a lot. The movie is sure to show us Reynolds’ ass, because we’d all probably die if we didn’t see that at least once in our lives. After a pretty long sex-montage, Reynolds gets cancer. He gets an experimental treatment which cures his cancer (and probably the HIV and syphilis he got from the prostitute), but leaves him physically deformed. He then decides to get revenge on the people who did this to him. He gives himself a catchy name, Deadpool, before he goes out and does that. Every superhero needs a catchy name.

There’s a lot of killing after this. It’s not quite indiscriminate, but it almost feels like it. Deadpool kills so many people I eventually lost count. The kills aren’t all that inventive, mostly stabbing and shooting. The crazy thing is that Deadpool actually enjoys killing his enemies. Are we supposed to cheer for someone so sociopathic? I swear, I almost fainted from the vapors.

The movie gets pretty weird as every line out of Deadpool’s mouth is a sarcastic joke. Only about half of them land, but considering the sheer number of them, that’s a pretty good amount. The other characters are just as quirky as he is, and trade barbs left and right with Deadpool. I’m not sure what kind of bizarre world they live in where people communicate solely with irony, but it’s not a world I’d care to live in.

Deadpool eventually gets some help with his killing from a sullen teenage girl and a giant CGI monstrosity. The CGI is pretty bad, but it’s a low-budget movie no one ever heard of, so I’ll give it a pass. I’m actually surprised they managed to get licenses from the X-Men franchise for his two allies. But since this is a low-budget movie, they couldn’t get Wolverine. Wolverine is the only X-Man I care about, or have even heard of for that matter. Wolverine is the best. God, I love Wolverine. WOLVERINE!

The end of the film turns out to be a satire of big action/superhero films. The main character doesn’t have a sweet Batmobile, so he takes a taxi. And he gathers a shitload of guns for an epic battle a la The Matrix, but then he leaves them in the taxi by mistake. It was a pretty clever jab at the typical high-octane ending we’ve come to expect from most movies.

When it’s all said and done, Deadpool kills all the bad guys and gets the girl in the end. I’m glad it had a happy ending. I don’t like movies with sad endings.

Reynolds did a really good job playing Deadpool. He was born to play the role. Or rather, he’s just playing himself. In either case, he and Deadpool are cut from the same cloth. I can’t really imagine anyone else doing the character justice. But I haven’t read the comic book, so I don’t know what I’m talking about. I just assume that’s how he was portrayed. It’s not just comics I don’t read. I don’t read anything. I’m illiterate. True story.

I liked how Deadpool managed to have superhero trappings, but also subverted the typical things you see in most bland superhero movies. It was really well executed, had fun action scenes, and a clever script. It’s surprising this movie was able to do so much on a shoe-string budget, with a script that was cobbled together over the course of three days, and starring an actor who, as far as I know, had never even heard of the main character before he signed up.

You guys, if there’s still time, you should go to the theater and check out this movie. It’s called Deadpool. Just write it down, it’ll be easier to remember that way. Go see it, you’ll probably like it. Or don’t. What do I care?

Verdict: Good

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11 Responses to “Deadpool AKA Skull Poop L”


  1. March 13, 2016 at 1:05 pm

    Funny write up Brik and good review.

  2. March 13, 2016 at 7:54 pm

    WHAT THE F@CK IS THIS MOVIE AND HOW DID IT GET PAST EVERYONE LIKE THIS???????

    Seriously though, is this even a movie or did you just use cocaine suppositories again like you weren’t supposed to.

    Seriously seriously, I laughed a lot.

  3. 5 gazerbeam
    March 20, 2016 at 11:50 am

    It was kind of front-loaded. They really milked/spread out the car scene/bridge shootout across the first half. Then there was never anything close to as creative again throughout the entire film.

    The jokes were above average but not as funny as Tropic Thunder. I’d even put it a hair below Pineapple Express among the quality action-comedies of the 2010’s.

    Still worth watching for fans of action-comedies. Just overrated.

    • March 21, 2016 at 11:30 am

      Yes, I too noticed how much they milked the car scene/bridge shootout. It really does comprise half the movie. Maybe this wasn’t the original intent, but with their limited budget, they might have had to change things up a bit. Overall, I think it works, but a separate action scene would have been ideal.

      • 7 gazerbeam
        March 21, 2016 at 10:59 pm

        Oops, neither TT nor PE were in the 2010s.

        But yeah, I don’t actually have a problem with the way they did the first half. I’m just saying the creativity was only there. After that it devolved. You can call it a parody of action films… but most of the action at the end just sucked to me. It felt like the failures of Xmen 3 somehow resurrected and amplified.

        I guess I appreciate the fact that there is a challenger in town when it comes to the monopoly Tarantino has on utterly mindless shock value. And we did get a bit of creative 4th wall breaking. Was not disappointed by that. But they could have cut out 20 minutes from the 3rd act. Instead it played out like a computer action game simulation. They could have gone practical, yet interesting. Instead they went shitty cgi, but oppressively tedious.

        I mean if there is one memorable or interesting thing about the 3rd act, let me know. There was a Taxi gag and gun gag. 30 seconds of material. The rest didn’t need to be there.

      • March 22, 2016 at 8:52 am

        I agree with you about the 3rd act. The only good parts were the gags. The taxi, the forgotten guns, the enemy he knew from work, and the hallucation/knife-in-the-brain jokes were all pretty funny to me. But the action itself was lackluster, which I did mention in my review, “The kills aren’t all that inventive, mostly stabbing and shooting.” It’s not a perfect movie, not by a long shot. But compared to cookie-cutter superhero drivel like Avengers, Iron Man, Spider-Man, Captain America, and all the rest of the shit given to us by Marvel/Disney, I think this was like a breath of fresh air. It was vastly different, and for that alone it succeeded.

      • 9 gazerbeam
        March 23, 2016 at 2:13 pm

        I agree that a different comic book movie is a better comic book movie, especially at this point, lol.

        TDK, Watchmen, Deadpool, etc. Anything that breaks a convention in this oversaturated genre begins the race a lap ahead.


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