02
Apr
17

Lucy, Spy

Lucy

This movie is based on the myth that humans only use 10% of their brain’s capacity. OK, right out the gate, the whole film’s premise is based on shitty pseudo-science, so it’s not off to a great start. The concept is this: what would happen to a person if they could unlock 100% of their brain’s capacity?

Unfortunately, Lucy isn’t able to come up with anything original. As the title character unlocks ever greater portions of her brain, she is able to see cell phone signals (apparently it unlocked greater eyesight, too), and she develops telekinetic powers (apparently it unlocked the ability to defy the laws of physics, too).

As Lucy herself becomes more intelligent, she becomes less empathetic, essentially becoming a machine. This is one of the oldest, most tired clichés in all of science fiction. It would have been nice if they had tried to come up with something a little different. By the end of the film, she literally becomes a machine, swamped in black goo, and interfacing with everything on the planet. She becomes a god-computer or something, I don’t know, it didn’t make any sense. It goes completely off the rails, and is hilarious in how stupid it is.

Verdict: Shitty

Spy

Melissa McCarthy’s movies are trash. Most angry bloggers on the Internet agree with me. But, at the same time, I kept reading how Spy was the exception; how it was the one movie where she plays against type, and how it’s a laugh riot. So, stupidly believing said angry bloggers, I watched this movie in the hopes I would enjoy it.

Once again, McCarthy fails to deliver. This is just as shitty as the rest of her work. She does play against type at first. She plays a nebbish CIA desk jockey who aids suave super-spy Jude Law in his field assignments. She’s frumpy and passive, and in love with a man who uses her without any intention of reciprocating her feelings. That’s all fine and good, but none of it is actually funny.

Later, McCarthy winds up going into the field. She ultimately dons the usual McCarthy persona: brash, rude, bitchy, and with fat jokes abounding. What good will the film might have earned by that point is immediately squandered. The “jokes” the film offers up are nothing more than insults and slapstick. They could work if they were clever, but they exist solely as a vehicle for McCarthy to cavort on screen, offering no humor whatsoever.

The only part of the movie that gave me any joy was Jason Statham’s hot-headed, dim-witted secret agent. But it begs the question, why are the CIA’s top two secret agents British? Is it movie law that all secret agents be British?

Verdict: Shitty

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9 Responses to “Lucy, Spy”


  1. April 9, 2017 at 2:58 am

    Lucy was mindless inanity.

    Spy wasn’t half bad, and I hate that fat tub of lard called Melissa McCarty, who continues to have a career despite playing the same basic character in every one of her movies. Statham slayed it, IMO.

  2. 3 Paragraph Film Reviews
    April 12, 2017 at 5:11 am

    I’ve got Besson’s back here, and would bet good money that Lucy will be recognised as his best film in… say…. 10-20 years time? It’s EVERYTHING that Besson is about; mass entertainment, sheen, crazy vibrant visuals, ‘cool’ action, a kickass babe herone… All the sci-fi stuff is just an excuse to cram in more, better, crazier shots and action scenes.

    The 10% myth *IS* completely ridiculous and out-dated, but it’s probably the easiest jumping off point for a dumb action film like this; everyone knows it without any more explanation. Forget the brain stuff, it’s Besson’s own ‘Cinema Du Look’ concept that’s been unlocked to 100% in this film.

    I know it’s daft, but I can’t get enough of Lucy ❤ ❤ ❤

    • April 18, 2017 at 3:02 pm

      I doubt Lucy will be remembered as Besson’s best. Most likely that title belongs to The Fifth Element. I do get that Lucy is a cool, style-over-substance movie, but that didn’t help me enjoy it at all.

  3. 5 xz03
    May 1, 2017 at 9:10 am

    Been awhile since I commented but follow your blog and love it! Agreed, Lucy was all over the place. My sister was excited about it and for me it was more ridiculous than the trailer…She still liked it though, go figure. Also “Spy” I agree that Statham was a good surprise, I had never seen the guy really play an incompetent agent before, so that was interesting. Btw, was it just me or was that movie like 3 hours long???

    • May 6, 2017 at 2:33 pm

      Glad you came back to the site. Spy felt extremely long as a result of how terrible it was. Lucy, yeah, if you like bad movies I can understand liking it.

  4. May 3, 2017 at 11:58 am

    Lucy is a bit batshit crazy. I dug it. None of it made sense, but then I didn’t expect it to.

    Spy was pretty terrible. Even after a while the Stath started bugging me. I need to just stop watching films with Melissa McCarthy in them.


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