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Happy (Shitty) Seven Year Anniversary

I’m sitting at the computer, and I’m feeling exhausted. I’m trying to drum up the energy to write another anniversary post. I can’t believe I’ve been writing this blog for seven years. Sure, it seems like it’s on life support sometimes, but somehow it has chugged along.

Awesomely Shitty can’t die no matter how hard Hollywood or I try. At this point, this blog is a mythological creature like a vampire or a Terminator or John McCain. It’s unbelievable that it has lasted for this long.

My favorite part of this blog is all the cool people I’ve met over the years. Maybe we haven’t actually met and had a beer together in real life, but meeting online is still a form of meeting. There are great regulars who never fail to drop by and leave a comment even though I’m too lazy to comment on their websites. I love all of you.

And there are the jackasses, too. The ones that think I’m an idiot because I didn’t like their favorite anime, or I’m too immature to understand art-house cinema, or I’m a virgin because I didn’t like Red Dead Redemption. But I write the blog for them, too. I get a kick out of how furious people get over words (opinions) on a computer screen.

I’m glad that people read this blog and get a reaction of some kind. That’s the whole point. Why would anyone read a blog that loved everything or only gave synopses of movies without an opinion?

Sometimes my posts are funny, and I’m glad I made you laugh and brightened your day for a few moments.

I write this blog for everyone, but mostly I write it for myself. I’d like to think I will keep writing it until I die. And who know, maybe I will? But probably not.

In all honesty, I don’t know how many more posts this blog has in it before it joins the thousands of others that will sit on the WordPress servers, defunct, until the end of time.

Here’s to seven years of Awesomely Shitty, and who knows how many more!


Happy (Shitty) Six Year Anniversary

That’s a six. It came up in Google image search. Yes, it’s amazing.

I managed to evade The Man and The Good Taste Police long enough to last one more year. It’s amazing to think that I have been writing this blog for six years. Sure, it’s little more than a hate-filled rant against Hollywood, but it still takes some effort on my part to churn out all this drivel. I don’t really know how long I’ll be writing this blog. As long as Michael Bay is making movies, though, I’ll try my best to be here to watch shit so you don’t have to. Once again, let me thank all of you who drop by and read the blog and leave comments. Awesomely Shitty wouldn’t be half as much fun without you. So, until next year, here’s a happy (shitty) anniversary to me.


It’s Time to Honor Myself

Apparently, summertime is awards season. Awards season for Awesomely Shitty. That’s right, fuckos, I got not one, but two blogging awards. Hells yeah! I rule! Ahem. Okay, sure they were given to me by regular visitors, but it still counts. It’s not like the Academy is made up of anything but peers, anyway. I just count myself fortunate that so many people read my blog and don’t want to murder me. It’s amazing, really.

The Liebster Award

The Liebster Award is given to a blogger who has less than 200 followers. Liebster in German means “beloved, favorite, dearest.” The goal of the Liebster Award is the help new or growing blogs connect with other bloggers. It’s a good way for readers to discover new blogs. I was given this award from Sidekick Reviews. It’s a great blog that I highly recommend checking out. I appreciate the award, thanks a lot.

The rules for Liebster Award recipients:

  1. List 11 random facts about yourself.
  2. Answer the questions that were asked of you (by the blogger that nominated you)
  3. Nominate 11 other blogs for the Liebster Award and include a link to their blogs.
  4. Notify the bloggers of their award.
  5. Ask the award winners 11 questions to answer once they accept the award.

Here are the random facts:  Continue reading ‘It’s Time to Honor Myself’


Happy (Shitty) Five Year Anniversary

Well, it’s happened, folks. I’ve wasted five perfectly good years of my life working on this blog. I’d like to thank those of you who drop by and leave comments and/or hate messages on a regular basis. You know who you are. Without you, trashing shitty movies and anime wouldn’t be half as much fun.

To celebrate the big day, Mrs. Brik and I decided to go to Hawaii. We stayed at a luxurious private beach, drank the finest champagne, snorkeled off the coast, and ate the flesh of endangered species. I may or may not have participated in hunting humans for sport. Hey, you only turn five once, right? Might as well live it up.

As a treat for all of you, I have put links to the most popular posts of all time from the last five years. If you have already seen these, now is your chance to relive the magic. If you haven’t, please enjoy.

  1. 20 Awesomest Anime of the Decade
  2. 20 Shittiest Anime of the Decade
  3. Fake Indie Movies (AKA Fuck You, Hipsters)
  4. Things I Hate About Assassin’s Creed
  5. Classically Shitty: Breakfast at Tiffany’s
  6. Red Dead Redemption Can Go to Hell
  7. Your Wedding Sucked
  8. Conan the Barbarian – Probably the Greatest Movie Ever Made
  9. Michael F. Assbender is in Everything
  10. Reasons Why Predator is Better than The King’s Speech
  11. Okami is the Poor Man’s Zelda
  12. Avatard Me Up (AKA Everyone is an Idiot)

Let’s see if The Man allows me to go another year.


Happy (Shitty) Four Year Anniversary

Four years already, huh? That’s a long time filled with a lot of insults. If this blog was a four year old human, it would be able to do a lot of stuff by now, including:

  • Cooperates with other children –> there is a blog roll on the side of the page
  • Talks about interests and disinterests –> that much is obvious
  • Can’t tell the difference between real and make-believe –> that would explain my unadulterated rage
  • Knows basic rules of grammar such as “he” or “she” –> in light of the “irregardless” post, I’d say this is a yes
  • Can sing a song or poem such as “Wheels on the bus” –> at least this involves singing
  • Tells stories –> such as the Tale of the iPhone
  • Can say first and last name –> you mean “Awesomely” and “Shitty”, right?
  • Knows the names of some colors and numbers –> as long as they are black, white, red, orange, and blue – and let’s just forget the whole numbers thing
  • Understands the idea of counting –> Transformers 1, Transformers 2, Transformers 3, etc.
  • Uses scissors –> but only to cut out pictures of Michael F. Assbender and put them on my wall
  • Plays board or card games –> do drinking games count?
  • Hops and stands on one foot for two seconds –> too lazy to try
  • Catches a bounced ball –> too lazy to try
  • Can pour own drinks –> for the aforementioned drinking games

Wow, it’s just like this blog is a real person! So, happy (shitty) four year anniversary to me! Until next time, amigos (fuckos).


Shameless Self Promotion

I’m not someone who is really into awards. Usually, they are just an excuse for people to congratulate themselves, and serve as nothing more than an ego boost for the fragile and simple-minded. However, I am really into promoting myself. I’ll do it in any number of grotesque and degrading manners. So, if I have to talk about awards in order to self-promote, then so be it.

I recently joined the Large Association of Movie Blogs (AKA largeassmovieblogs lol) as a means to get my hate filled messages out to the masses. They are doing an annual award for the members of the association. I figured, hey why not try and get nominated for something? After all, this is the best/worst blog on the internet. I should at least be eligible for most offensive blog, right?

While I think you should nominate me for everything, I probably have the best shot at the following: Funniest Writer (look no further than the hipster post), Best Ratings System (all the other writers use stars, letter grades, or no rating at all – my system of Awesome – Good – Average – Bad – Shitty clearly is way more imaginative), Best Running Feature (Classically Shitty or Four Horsemen of the Filmmaking Apocalypse), and Best Movie Reviewer (who else will honestly stick it to Hollywood time and time again?).

So, if I’ve ever made you laugh (or more likely get super angry), then head on over to The Lamb and nominate me. Nominate me for whatever you want. The poll is a link near the bottom of the page. If not, go to hell. That is all.

November 2015
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