Posts Tagged ‘Bill Murray


Moonrise Kingdom, Pierrot le Fou

Moonrise Kingdom

Oh wow, they are all such tremendous actors.

Director Wes Anderson is the king of quirky independent movies. Just for that you would think I’d automatically hate him. I don’t because I love the movie Rushmore, which is fucking brilliant. So, I was interested to see his new film, which reunited him with actors he uses often like Bill Murray and Jason Schwartzman. I was also excited to see Edward Norton and Bruce Willis.

Moonrise Kingdom is about two kids who run away from home. Unexpectedly, 90% of the screentime is devoted to their fledgling love affair. Of course, it’s all viewed through a quirky lens. It’s romanticized to an unneccessary degree, and is made annoyingly wholesome and cute. It’s unfortunate because that drains all of the interesting bits out like a vampire. The remaining 10% focuses on the attempts of the other characters to track them down. This is where Norton, Willis, and a troop of Scouts come in.

Parts of the movie are fun, such as the early attempts to track them down, and the later attempt at avoiding capture. These are the highlights of the movie. The rest of it features more camping scenes than a Harry Potter movie. The majority of the movie’s heavy lifting comes from the two leads who were both 12 years old at the time of filming. And, wouldn’t you know it, they fucking suck at acting.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “LOL BUT BRIK TEHY ARE JUST LITTLE KIDS SO TEHY CANT BE THAT GOOD AT ACTING YET GIVE EM A BREAK LOL!” I’m sorry, but no. You’re wrong. Some kids can be good at acting. Just take a look at Chloe Grace Moretz or that little bastard from The Sixth Sense and tell me their acting is not light years better than the twats in Moonrise Kingdom. The fact that these two can’t act, and that they dominate 90% of the screentime, nearly ruins the movie. Other problems include woefully underdeveloped characters like the parts played by Willis and Murray.

I’m conflicted about this movie. On one hand I want to like it since it’s so off-kilter. On the other hand, the two leads are such horrible actors that the movie should automatically lose points for that. They don’t get a pass for being kid actors. They were both absolutely terrible. It’s like Wes Anderson intentionally sought out shitty kid actors to put in his movie. Maybe he did. Maybe that’s the point? Who knows?

Verdict: Average

Pierrot le Fou

I’m sure this still from the movie has SUPER DEEP MEANING.

If you aren’t a hardcore filmfag, chances are you’ve never heard of this movie. Consider that a blessing. Pierrot le Fuck is a 1965 French movie directed by Jean-Luc Godard. He became a famous director in this era because he liked to film shit in the weirdest way possible, and people thought he was some kind of goddamn genius for it. Pierrot le Fuck is about a couple of egotistical assholes who abandon their families, steal shit, kill some people, and run around like turd burglars for the entire movie. Everybody dies at the end, too, so — spoilers — I guess. The problem really isn’t the story so much as the directing. I couldn’t fucking stand how it was directed. It was way too cool and hip for a troglodyte for me to understand. Everything about it from the way the actors read their lines, to people staring directly at the camera, to how trendy everybody was, to just about fucking everything irritated me to no end. Godard is more pretentious cock gobbler than innovative director. Obviously, this is only a movie for the hardcore amongst us. The only good thing about it was it had some nudity. That’s it. Pierrot le Fuck can go fuck itself. That would be the trendy thing to do.

Verdict: Shitty


Harry Brown, God Bless America

Harry Brown

Is Michael Caine angry or sleepy? I can’t tell.

Harry Brown is a 2009 geriatric revenge movie starring Michael Caine. Although the movie takes place in England, the setting looks more like Hell itself. Crime is rampant with robbery, drugs, and pornography spilling into every street corner. Harry gets fed up with the violence, and decides the only way to put a stop to things is with more violence. He goes on a killing rampage, taking out all sorts of punk kids and drug dealers. When the bodies start piling up, the incompetent police force is completely impotent at tracking down the killer. It is obvious to everyone else that Harry is the killer, yet they still can’t figure it out. The police are led by Emily Mortimer who plays “super serious stuck up bitch”, a role she plays in every movie and has since perfected. The violence is portrayed in a realistic fashion, and the movie does take into account the fact that our titular septuagenarian has numerous medical conditions to grapple with while dealing out vigilante justice. At the end of the movie, nothing is gained, nobody learns any lessons, and the entire thing felt like an exercise in monotony.

Verdict: Average

God Bless America

Giving out justice to those who deserve it.

If Harry Brown was an elderly man of action who didn’t mince words, then the main character of God Bless America is a guy who likes to hear himself talk and takes action as seldom as possible. This movie stars Joel Murray who plays the washed up, less funny version of his brother Bill Murray. Oh wait, let me start over. Joel Murray plays a grumpy middle-aged dude who hates everybody and everything. He grows disgusted with the state of affairs in America as he watches TV drivel like American Idol, TMZ, My Super Sweet 16, and Charm School. Now, I can identify with him. These reality shows are the most fucking godawful things ever to air on TV. We’d be a lot better off if people like Kim Kardashian or Honey Boo Boo never became famous.

Eventually, things spiral out of control, and Murray and co-star Tara Lynne Barr go on a killing spree across America taking out the people they can’t stand like hardcore fundamentalist Christians and Republican pundits. The concept is totally awesome, because these people really are the scum of society. However, the execution of the movie left a lot to be desired. What should have been a madcap, frenzied, breathless killing spree was instead a slow, boring trudge from place to place. The two main characters kill someone, then spend the next 30 minutes talking shit about fame-whores, then kill the next person, and repeat. Instead of being a brilliant satire, it comes off more like the whining of a couple of losers who hate everybody. It’s sad because the concept of this movie is great, and it really deserved better. In the movie’s defense, it was well done (acting, directing, etc.), and there were several laugh out loud moments.

Verdict: Average

March 2015
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