Safety Nation Chapter 7

I went through the entire proof from the publisher. It looked great overall, but there was a minor issue with the cover, and I spotted a few typos here and there. I’ve hopefully corrected everything, and have ordered a second proof from the publisher. If that one looks good, then we’ll be able to set the release date for the book!

In case you have missed the chapters so far, here are links to them:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

Announcement/Blurb

Cover Art

As always, the chapter below, and entire novel, are copyrighted.

— — —

Safety Nation by Logan Riley

7

We slid into the same booth as last time. The waitress was the same as before, too. Lowry ordered a big meal with her coffee. I had coffee only. Lowry blew on her steaming mug before taking a sip.

“How was I?” she asked.

“Amazing,” I said. The excitement from earlier was still pumping through my veins.

She returned a sly grin.

“I’ve never seen anything like that. You weren’t kidding when you said you were going all the way to the top.”

Lowry put her mug down. She folded her arms and rested them on the table. The lights above shimmered on her red hair, reminiscent of a halo. “Have you worked Healthcare Detail before?” she asked.

“No.”

“What do you think it will be like?”

I sipped my coffee. It was strong and bitter. “The same as every other department. We’ll waste taxpayer money to enforce a bunch of rules nobody wants or cares about,” I said.

“You don’t think the public wants the safety regulations?”

“Maybe they did when the First Government was founded. But not now. I can’t imagine anyone wants government perverts spying on them.”

“You really hate this job, don’t you?”

“I didn’t always hate it.”

Lowry sipped her coffee again. She turned to the window and looked outside. The world looked dark through the UV-filtered glass. Cars drifted by on the busy street. The city expanded as far as the eye could see. Everything was cast in drab shades of whites and tans and grays.

Safety Nation Chapter 6

I don’t have much of a preamble for you this time. If you live in the U.S., I hope you had a fun and safe Thanksgiving. If you don’t live in the U.S., I hope you have a great weekend.

In case you have missed the chapters so far, here are links to them:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Announcement/Blurb

Cover Art

As always, the chapter below, and entire novel, are copyrighted.

— — —

Safety Nation by Logan Riley

6

Two weeks had passed since we busted the orgy. When we returned that night, Huxley looked disappointed. Had he expected a ticker-tape parade and riches lavished upon him? Nothing happened. Nothing changed. Nobody noticed. We booked the offenders and sent them on their merry way without any fanfare. Since then, Huxley had been even more irritable.

I arrived about twenty minutes late. I didn’t see the need to show up on time. Besides, my tardiness would delay Huxley from getting the evening’s work started, and I derived a modicum of pleasure from that.

When I got to Sex Detail, I found Huxley slamming his fist repeatedly into the electronic map on the rolling easel. Each time he hit it, it rolled away from him, so he pulled it back and punched it again. Each collision caused the screen to flicker wildly.

“His exercise routine is coming along nicely,” I said to Lowry.

Huxley whirled around at the sound of my voice. “What the hell took so goddamn long? Where the hell were you?” he growled.

“The bathroom.”

“You just save that for when you’re off the clock, got it?”

He turned back and looked at the map. The screen was dark, and tendrils of smoke drifted out of it. “The map’s busted,” he said.

Huxley faced Lowry and spoke to her in a condescending tone. He had dropped the sweet act after he realized she wasn’t going to sleep with him. “Lowry, it’s time to take off the training wheels. I’m letting you out on your own tonight.”

“Great,” she said, perking up.

“We’ve got five dates, all high-risk. We’ll divide and conquer like always.”

He dug some paper and a pen out of the desk. He scribbled something on each piece of paper. He handed the first to Lowry and said, “You’ve got these two.” He handed me the second and said, “You’ve got one. Think you can handle that?”

I shoved the paper into my pocket without looking at it and said, “I think I can manage.”

He leaned in closer. His hot breath smelled like rotten cabbage. “I can’t wait ‘til you’re gone. It’s gonna be so sweet when they kick your ass out,” he said.

He stared intently, waiting for fear to come to my eyes. It never did. His face went flat. He huffed and said, “Let’s get moving.”

Safety Nation Chapter 5

I’m glad I finally got to show you all the fantastic cover art for my upcoming novel. I’ve ordered proofs from the printers, and they are in the mail. Once they show up, I’ll sign off on them as long as they look good. Let’s hope so!

In case you have missed the chapters so far, here are links to them:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Announcement/Blurb

Cover Art

Chapter 5 is one of my favorites. It was the first one where I felt like I was really onto something with the story. I hope you enjoy it!

As always, the chapter below, and entire novel, are copyrighted.

— — —

Safety Nation by Logan Riley

5

I listed out of the bedroom, bleary-eyed. My head felt like the receiving end of an anvil. An awful racket came from the living room. It was much louder than the usual noise.

A dog rounded the corner separating the living room from the kitchen. It was squat and pudgy with a flat, wrinkled black face. Its body was tan colored. Its tail was curled twice over, and its eyes looked like they were about to pop out of its skull.

It raced toward me at full speed, its butt nearly dragging across the floor. An incredibly long pink tongue flapped from one side of its giant mouth. As the dog neared, it didn’t slow down. It careened into my shins with a thud.

The dog jumped at my face, going almost three feet straight up. It tried and failed a second time. Springs must have been attached to its feet. Then it decided something more fun awaited elsewhere. It skittered around me a final time, and ran full speed back to the kitchen.

My troll-wife was sitting in her usual spot. “When did you get a dog?” I asked.

“Oh . . . they delivered it half an hour ago.”

“What is it?”

“Oh . . . a dog.”

“I know it’s a dog. What kind of dog?”

There was no response. She was entranced by the pulsing light of the TV.

I went into the kitchen. Water and dog food were strewn about the floor. Several stuffed dog toys had been dissected, their cotton innards tossed about. In the center of the floor was a coiled up turd. The dog sniffed it, growled, and barked.

“You’re barking at your own shit,” I said.

The dog looked at me with a vacuous smile. For a moment it resembled Huxley. Then, the dog shot off, racing back to the living room.

“You want to help me clean up this mess?” I called to my troll-wife.

No response. It was just as well. She would only make it worse. I was the only one that did anything around here. Cleaning, cooking, laundry, maintenance, I did it all. She was a worthless slug.

Safety Nation Cover Art

It’s finally time! The cover art is here! What you see above is just a tease. It’s the font, obviously, and hopefully enough to get you more interested.

In case you have missed the chapters so far, here are links to them:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Announcement/Blurb

So, what’s next? Now that I have the cover art finalized, I can get proofs from the printers. If they all look good, then I’ll announce the publication date. Let’s keep our fingers crossed that there aren’t any hiccups along the way. And until then, you’ll get to enjoy more chapters.

Click the link below to check out the full Safety Nation cover art. I hope you love it!

Safety Nation Chapter 4

I hope everyone is having a nice weekend. It’s looks like things are on track, and hopefully I can show you the cover art next week. The delay might ultimately delay the book’s release date, which is why I haven’t revealed that yet. You see, without the cover, I can’t order the proofs, which of course take time to print. So, it’s a domino effect. With luck, though, you’ll be reading Safety Nation next month, which is my ultimate goal.

In case you missed the previous chapters, here are links to them:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Announcement/Blurb

All right, then. Onto chapter four. With this one, the core characters have all been introduced, and from this point forward, they start to interact and interfere with each another in interesting/wonderful/dysfunctional ways. I hope you enjoy it.

As always, the chapter below, and entire novel, are copyrighted.

— — —

Safety Nation by Logan Riley

4

We scooted into opposite sides of the booth. The seats were hard, made of old leather, cracked, with tufts of stuffing popping out. Surely, that must have been a safety violation, but neither of us cared.

The sun burned outside, but the restaurant’s tinted windows protected us from the UV radiation. We were in an old-fashioned diner, a few miles from the Central Office. I came here often, usually choosing to eat here instead of at home.

A waitress appeared. She handed us each a menu and asked for our drink orders. Coffee for both. The coffee was dark and bitter. It was delicious.

“You know,” I said, putting my mug down on the table, “a long time ago, people used to add stuff to coffee.”

“What kind of stuff?” Lowry asked.

“Sugar. Milk. Chocolate. Whipped cream sometimes.”

“Really? That’s so weird.”

“I bet coffee would taste interesting with any of those.”

Lowry took a long, slow, deliberate sip. When she finished, she said, “Yeah, I could see it being better with milk.”

“Not sugar?”

“I’ve never had it,” she said nonchalantly.

“I remember my parents using it. They outlawed it when I was a kid.”

I was thirty years her elder. It made sense that she wouldn’t know about those sorts of things. To her, they were historical oddities.

Safety Nation Chapter 3

I hope everyone had a great Halloween. Now it’s onto November and the Presidential election and Thanksgiving, but who cares about that when there’s another chapter of Safety Nation to read? In case you’re stumbling upon this for the first time, here are links to the other chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Announcement/Blurb

Several people have asked when I’m going to reveal the cover art. Well, I was hoping to do it this week. But there’s been a slight delay, so it will probably be next week. I think you’ll like it a lot, it’s pretty great.

So, without further ado, here is chapter 3…

As always, the chapter below, and entire novel, are copyrighted.

— — —

Safety Nation by Logan Riley

3

The Central Office was bustling with agents eager to leave. I pushed through them like they were an incoming tide. When I reached the other side, Huxley was already waiting for me. His lapel bore a new yellow stain, and his hair was messier than usual.

“Welcome back. I wasn’t sure you’d show,” he said.

“Huh?”

“I thought that cushy gig you used to have softened you up. Made it so you couldn’t handle Sex Detail.”

“The work isn’t the worst part of this assignment.”

Huxley chortled and clapped his hands together a single time, saying, “Woah-ho! Careful what you say. Remember, I am your superior.”

He was getting a kick out of this. He squinted and took a step toward me. “Smith,” he said before taking another step. “What’s wrong with your eyes?”

My skin started to crawl. I lowered the brim of my hat and stepped back. I could smell his reeking breath on me.

“Yeah,” he said with a dawning realization. “They’re red and puffy. Have you been crying?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said. I turned away to break free from his leering gaze.

“Oh, Smithy, what’s wrong? Did I hurt your feelings?”

“Go to hell.”

“Do you need your bottle, little baby Smithy?”

I snapped back around. I raised a fist. Huxley looked at it with huge eyes. A streak of terror shot through him. I hesitated. Slowly, I lowered my hand. He wasn’t worth the effort. When it became clear that I wouldn’t punch him, Huxley’s face revealed a smug satisfaction.

Safety Nation Chapter 2

I hope you’ve all had a chance to enjoy the first chapter of my novel, Safety Nation. If you missed it, you can click here to read it. There will be plenty of updates (i.e. chapters and other announcements) coming your way soon.

This weekend is Halloween, so I will post my regular, Halloween-themed movie review. It’s a little different this time, and I think you’ll like it. Until then, on to the second chapter…

As always, the chapter below, and entire novel, are copyrighted.

— — —

Safety Nation by Logan Riley

2

Returning my equipment at the end of the shift took just as long as picking it up. It was another series of long corridors, name and serial number recitations, and right hand turns. I shuffled out of the building as the day shift shuffled in.

As my car shuttled me home, I reclined the seat three inches, the farthest it would go. The car hummed along the expressway, looping around the city. The sun was a yellow orb, hovering in a pale, cloudless sky. I closed my eyes and tried to drift off, but it was too bright.

I turned on the radio. There were only three stations: Weather, News, and Government. Before the First Government existed, there had been hundreds of radio stations. A study revealed that all those choices were distracting to drivers, and when the First Government came to power, radio stations were eliminated. Soon, people clamored to have them back. While the government was deciding what to do, another study revealed that music could evoke unsafe, passionate emotional responses. So, the government created three channels, none of which played music, and none of which people would be interested in.

I flipped through the stations. As usual, nothing good was on. I turned the radio off and tried to sleep again to no avail.

Safety Nation Chapter 1

It’s been a week since the announcement of my novel, Safety Nation. Now, I’m pleased to share the first chapter with you. I haven’t decided how many chapters I’m going to post online, but it will probably be around 100 pages of the book.

In the coming weeks you can expect more chapters, as well as the release date, and the cover art. Each update is really exciting for me. All the various aspects are still getting finalized (fonts, book size, layout, etc.). Really boring stuff for everyone else, but agonizing for me, because I want it to be perfect.

It probably goes without saying, but this chapter, as well as the entire book, is copyrighted.

Without further ado, enjoy the first chapter…

— — —

Safety Nation by Logan Riley

1

Sex Detail.

I hated this job. Of all the possible assignments, this was the most disgusting. We spy on people having sex. Not the glamorous movie version of sex where two attractive people make well-choreographed love. It was usually two sweaty slobs clumsily slapping their bodies together. After several years away from this assignment, I was back, and not by choice.

The van was hot, and the stagnant air choked me. I tore at my tie and jerked the collar of my shirt down. That didn’t help. The stifling air was made worse by the body heat of the man next to me. Huxley sat with a pair of binoculars stuck to his face like they were an appendage. He sported a perverted grin.

Huxley was getting into it now. A rivulet of drool trickled from his mouth. I caught a glimpse of a substantial bulge in his pants, and quickly wished I hadn’t. He was a man who loved his job.

Safety Nation is Coming Soon

Safety Nation is coming soon. What is Safety Nation? It’s my first published novel! That’s right, your (un)friendly neighborhood BrikHaus is publishing a book. After years of trashing other people’s hard work, now it’s my turn to face public scrutiny. I’ve toiled away for a long time writing as a hobby, and I’ve finally written something I think is good enough to share with the world.

In the coming weeks I will be providing updates on the status of the book: the cover art (what you see above is not it), the release date (sometime in December, but the final date isn’t firm yet), and several chapters. Be prepared for lots of text to grace the site as I take a break from watching Michael Bay shitstorms, fake hipster crap, and moeblob anime abominations. I still plan to post my regular stuff intermittently, just so Awesomely Shitty doesn’t become a complete advertisement.

And what is Safety Nation about? Well, it’s a satire of dystopian literature, a genre that takes itself far too seriously. It’s also based in part on my own torturous experience working for a huge, dumb bureaucracy. I’ve included the exciting book blurb for your reading pleasure below:

Safety Inspector Smith never wanted to save the world; he only tried so he could get some peace and quiet.

Smith has been a government drone for thirty years. He works for an institution obsessed with the safety of its citizens. Whether it’s making people practice safe sex, abolishing all junk food, or replacing real grass with hypoallergenic artificial turf, the government uses its Safety Inspectors to make sure everyone stays safe. But Smith doesn’t care about any of that. All he wants is to move away from the bustling city, its people, and all its regulations.

Stuck in a terrible job, Smith sees a glimmer of hope in his new partner, a rookie named Lowry. He soon learns she has a greater knack for government work than he ever did. Together, they cut corners, dodge red tape, and fool their dimwitted superiors into giving them promotions.

Just when things are looking up, a maniac threatens to overthrow the government. Smith couldn’t care less, but Lowry jumps into the fray. By a twist of fate, Smith holds the key to saving the world, and he would do anything to help his friend.

Darkly humorous, “Safety Nation” is a satirical take on dystopian fiction, told in a hard-boiled style.

That’s it for now. I’m really excited for you to read this book. Hopefully, all three of my regular readers will pick up a copy. I had a lot of fun (not to mention agonizing over) writing it, and I hope you get to enjoy reading it.

Movies > Books: Naked Lunch

William S. Burroughs was a writer and a drug addict. He was good at one and not so good at the other. Why don’t you take a guess as to which he excelled at?

The book Naked Lunch is the ramblings of a heroin junkie. There is no story. There are no themes. Hell, there aren’t even any characters. Not really. Sure, people get mentioned here and there, but they don’t have through-lines, and there certainly isn’t anything remotely resembling a plot in which the people can function.

People have lauded Naked Lunch as a literary masterpiece. I’m sorry, but, no, it’s a piece of shit. I’ve spoken with plenty of people high on shit. They all ramble like Burroughs. Perhaps not quite as uniquely, but there is commonality between them.

The only reason this book is even considered “literature” (and I use that term loosely) is because there’s nothing else like it. If literary critics got a chance to sit down and chat with some real junkies high on heroin or cocaine or whatever, they’d soon see that Burroughs is just another junkie, albeit one with a typewriter.