Posts Tagged ‘Goldeneye


If There Was a Video Game Version of Sucking Balls, it Would Be Called Halo.

About a million years ago I played Halo on the PC. It was one of the hugest pieces of shit of all time. It was repetitive, boring, had lame guns, had an idiotic story, and was about as generic as FPS games can get. I hated it so much that I refused to play Halo 2 or 3, despite the fact that fanboys around the world heralded them as the best things since sliced bread. Which is really saying a lot, since sliced bread is the best thing since sliced bread.

A few months back, three other friends and I got together and it was decided that we should play Halo 3 online. My friend has an Xbox 360 and a huge HD TV, and I was drunk, so I figured, “Sure, why the fuck not?” We played, and it was incredible. It was one of the most fun multiplayer experiences of my videogaming life. Don’t get me wrong, it was no Goldeneye 64, but it was a pretty solid experience nonetheless.

So, after months of playing Halo 3 online with my friends, I decided I would go back in time and play through the single player campaign of Halo 2, with the intent of then moving on to part three. After all, online play was so much fun that the developers must have fixed their mistakes from the previous games, right?

That was a huge mistake. Continue reading ‘If There Was a Video Game Version of Sucking Balls, it Would Be Called Halo.’


Bond…James Bond 15-22

Continuing from where I left off last time, I have since watched all the Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, and Daniel Craig films in the James Bond series. Dalton is generally reviled, Brosnan is considered to be average, and Daniel Craig is loved almost as much as Connery. Dalton wasn’t the worst Bond ever, that distinction belongs to George Lazenby. However, Dalton just didn’t have the right amount of charisma to play the famous British spy. Bond is supposed to have fun at what he does, and Dalton just sort of played it like a regular action hero. Brosnan, I think, is an excellent Bond. Unfortunately, his tenure was plagued by some of the worst scripts and supporting cast in Bond movie history. Given the right material, though, he really excelled. Craig, the current Bond, is quite good, albeit sort of rough around the edges. He is playing Bond before he became the suave super spy of Connery and Moore’s days. So, with a little luck, Craig will slowly adopt those features as he progresses from film to film.

Ranking the remaining films in order from best to worst, would go something like this:

  1. Casino Royale
  2. Goldeneye
  3. Tomorrow Never Dies
  4. Quantum of Solace
  5. The Living Daylights
  6. Die Another Day
  7. Licence to Kill
  8. The World is Not Enough

If you’re interested in why I ordered them the way I did (and how could you not be?), read on. Continue reading ‘Bond…James Bond 15-22’

July 2022


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