Posts Tagged ‘Kyoto Animation

22
Jan
10

20 Shittiest Anime of the Decade (2000-2009)

I’ve seen me lots of animu in the last decade. I started watching this stuff in late 2001, and it’s ruined my life ever since. That being said, I felt it was my obligation to impart upon you the fact that there are terrible anime out there. Sometimes it seems like it’s all moeblobs and slice of life bullshit. I’m not sure if anyone else has done this yet, so I’m giving you my list of the 20 Most Shittiest Anime of 2000’s. Keep in mind that even though I have ranked these, they are all equally shitty. My list probably won’t sit well with the slice of life fans or the moe-loving fapboys, but rest assured these anime all need to be sent directly to hell.

Dishonorable Mention) Most Pointless AwardRebuild of Evangelion – Why Hideaki Anno, why? You impressed us with Gunbuster, you further solidified your directing talent with Nadia, and you amazed us with your opus Evangelion. After that you did… well, not really anything. You went on to make a bunch of really shitty live action movies. You failed and failed and failed. You weren’t able to succeed in the mainstream, and that’s OK. But when you returned to the world of anime, what did you do? You decided to make A MOTHERFUCKING REMAKE of your biggest cash cow. Hmmm. Out of ideas already? Apparently so. Either that, or you wasted all of your money on full body Asuka pillows and mosaic screened Japanese porn. Now, I will agree that Rebuild of Evangelion was extremely well made, but it was also extremely pointless. Evangelion was by far one of the most incredible anime of all time. And remaking it is retarded at best.

Dishonorable Mention) Worst Director AwardMamoru Oshii – To all the fans of Oshii… fuck you. This guy is terrible. He’s a horrible director. He has no concept of pacing or intriguing storytelling. There is an old writer’s guideline that says, “Show, don’t tell.” Basically, it means you should describe what’s going on, and not just say that it happened. It provides for a much richer experience for the reader. Oshii’s work is all flawed by the same problem. He “tells” and doesn’t “show.” He wants to bring up philosophical ideas, and his method of doing that is by having two talking heads spout off paragraphs of dialogue at each other for huge chunks of time. This could potentially work in a book format, but in film, which is a visual medium, it fails miserably. Immediately, this becomes boring to all but the most insane Oshii-loving otaku. I swear to god, Oshii fans are practically a cult. To them, Oshii is like Jesus and he can do no wrong. He could film himself taking a shit, and his fans would call it the greatest piece of cinema to ever grace the earth. The truth is, 99% of everything he has put to the screen is garbage. Oh, and Oshii, nobody gives a fuck about Basset Hounds, so stop putting them in all your goddamn movies.

Continue reading ’20 Shittiest Anime of the Decade (2000-2009)’

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24
Jul
08

Kanon – Faggy Anime Defined

Kanons cast of assholes

Kanon's cast of assholes

There is a growing subgenre of anime that I like to call “faggy anime.” What is faggy anime, you ask? Well, it’s simple. Kanon is faggy anime. Clannad is faggy anime. Air is faggy anime. Basically, any series with over the top moe, a heavy romance theme, or a show that is based on a dating sim is faggy anime. Usually, these series feature a bunch of extremely well endowed high school girls who are totally shy, and all secretly like the protagonist. The thing that pisses me off about these shows is that they go into “cute overload.” They toss all conflict, drama, and any aspect of decent story telling to wind. In their place, they put a bunch of cute shit everywhere. The protagonist has the choice of any girl he wants (kind of like me in real life), but of course he is always too much of a pussy to act on it (unlike me). This rings especially false since 99% of anime feature high school students, and you know that a real life high school boy would be hitting that shit in a fucking second. But he doesn’t do that. He just can’t decide which girl he likes best. This is probably because he is actually gay. But let’s not over-analyze this stuff. Over-analyzing anime can lead to brain damage. It makes me sad that anime used to be the bastion of hard core violence and tentacle rape, but now it’s just a glut of moe shit. Continue reading ‘Kanon – Faggy Anime Defined’




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