Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar X-Men

Director Tim Burton’s latest film is a book adaptation, yet another in the deluge of young adult novels Hollywood has flooded us with as of late. They remain desperate in their attempts to find the next Harry Potter and shove it down our throats, but so far they continue to come up short.

The basic gist is that some children are born with special abilities. These gifted youngsters live in a special school where their headmistress teaches them to use their abilities for the greater good. A scrappy outsider named Logan Potter discovers the school, and is welcomed to their makeshift family. Professor X attempts to persuade Logan to join them. Logan doesn’t think he’s special, but over the course of the film realizes he has powers of his own.

Logan: The Spoiler Review

Hugh Jackman’s final (until he gets paid all the money to return) outing as Wolverine has finally hit theaters. So far, it is both a critical and commercial success. With a bleak tone, incredible violence, and a definitive ending, we finally have been treated to the first truly great X-Men film.

Taking place 12 years from now, Logan’s future looks like a hellscape. One could be forgiven for thinking they accidentally stepped into a post-apocalyptic movie. With locations set primarily on the U.S.-Mexico border, the film’s vistas are mostly desert wastelands. This mirrors the inner narrative that Logan’s life has been wasted on violence, leaving him with nothing to show for it. That’s not to say the film can’t be beautiful at times. In fact, the forlorn landscapes evoke their own stark beauty thanks to some wonderful cinematography.

Once again, mutants are on the run, hiding from humans who wish to wipe them out. Humans have perfected a gene therapy technique that has caused all mutants to either lose their powers, or find they have become unstable. Professor X can barely control his telepathic powers, and is reduced to taking seizure meds to subdue them. Logan’s healing factor has slowed substantially, causing him to take much longer to recover from injuries, and making him almost mortal.

Veronica Mars: The Movie

A long time ago, we used to be friends.

If you’ve never seen the TV show Veronica Mars, then don’t make the movie your introduction. You won’t get it. Sure, you’ll be able to follow the story, but you’ll miss the inside jokes and you won’t appreciate the cameos from the various cast members. If you have seen Veronica Mars and are a fan, then chances are you’ve already seen the movie. If you’ve never seen the show, it’s about a teenage girl who moonlights as a private detective. She’s like the high school version of Philip Marlowe. And as ridiculous as the concept seemed, it somehow worked.

Mrs. Brik is a die-hard Veronica Mars fan. She used my hard-earned money to help fund the Kickstarter to get the movie made. I’m sure you know that story, how this is the largest fan-funded movie of all time. Veronica Mars fans are crazy and love them some Kristin Bell. They would jump at any chance to revisit the show.

The series had no sense of closure after it was unceremoniously cancelled in 2007 in favor of a Pussycat Dolls reality show. Great move, CW, way to go, how are the Pussycat Dolls doing these days? The movie was made not just to see our favorite characters again, but to provide a more appropriate conclusion to the series. So, how did it turn out?

I’mma Cut You (The Wolverine Review)

While the X-Men comics have emphasized the team aspect of the superhero group, the X-Men movies more or less eschewed that in favor of making Wolverine the main character. Nerdlingers the world over have been upset by that, but, honestly, it makes the movies better. Wolverine is a top-tier superhero, the general public knows who he is, and he’s fucking cool. If you were going to focus your film on any of the X-Men, Wolverine would be the most logical choice.

It only makes sense that after three team-based movies, Wolverine would get a few solo efforts. The first one, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, was a giant smelly turd. Everybody hated it. Hugh Jackman remained a complete badass in the role, but everything else was total shit. After the movie failed, it seemed like everyone involved decided to take a few years off from the whole X-Men franchise. Finally, 13 years after the first X-Men movie, Wolverine is back, and once again starring in a solo effort. So, how was it?