Classically Shitty: Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Hilarious? Were there jokes in this movie? I must have missed them.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s is one of those “classic” movies you are supposed to like because film-fags said so. But it’s awful. I can’t think of a single redeeming aspect of this movie. Sure, it has George Peppard of A-Team fame, but that doesn’t enhance the movie. Maybe if halfway through Mr. T burst through a brick wall, gold chains glittering, a machine gun blasting, bullets ripping Holly Golightly’s flesh into threads, the movie could have been cool. But that didn’t happen, so it’s a piece of shit.

The actual breakfast at Tiffany’s is the first scene of the movie. But it’s so vague you have no idea what the fuck is happening. Holly stands outside the store some time before it opens and eats a pastry. That’s it. That was the breakfast at Tiffany’s. Well, the breakfast outside Tiffany’s at any rate. I guess you could end the movie right there. It would be preferable to the non-stop shitfest that follows. And believe me, it is a shitfest. Breakfast at Tiffany’s is boring, has shitty dialogue, a retarded protagonist, and it’s incredibly racist, too. It really has it all. 

Fringe – Seasons 1-3

Fringe title screen.

Most television shows cater to people with moderate to severe mental retardation. As a result, I don’t watch a lot of television. When you are constantly bombarded with crap like: The Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men, CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: Antarctica, CSI: NCIS: SVU: Los Angeles, Gray’s Anatomy, Jersey Shore, everything on the CW, and the fifty Kardashians reality shows, there is hardly any reason to turn on a television. Fortunately, I found a reason to watch TV again, the sci-fi series Fringe.

When this began airing in 2008 I figured it would be nothing more than an X-Files rip-off, so I completely dismissed it. Since that time it has garnered a cult following, as well as some critical acclaim, but has stagnated in the ratings. It was recently picked up for a fourth season, but only just barely. It was nearly canceled. Being someone who inevitably gets hooked on unpopular series that get canceled without a proper conclusion, (e.g. Twin Peaks) I decided to check this show out.