Posts Tagged ‘No Country for Old Men

21
Feb
15

Brik Hates the Academy Awards: 00s Edition

It’s no mystery that I hate the Academy Awards. Hollywood spends half the year binging on cocaine and hookers and the other half praising themselves for it. No other industry exerts so much energy and spends so much money on self-congratulatory masturbation than the film industry. These sick fucks have the cushiest, easiest jobs in the world, and they act like what they do is some kind of goddamn accomplishment. “LOL OH LOOK I JUST RECITED SOME LINES SOMEONE ELSE WROTE FOR ME AND SHED A TEAR AT THE SAME TIME! I’M A FUCKING ACTING GOD! QUICK SOMEBODY GIVE ME FIFTY AWARDS LOL!” In theory, I could get behind the awards if they actually awarded things that were deserving. You know, giving a Best Picture award to the best movie of the year. But the Academy rarely gives that award to the best movie of the year. Hell, they don’t even give it to the most popular movie of the year. Usually, they give it to whatever cool person produced the movie, or to the most obscure, independent, foreign piece of shit they can find. Typically, no one in the mainstream public will have even seen the winner. They’ve been pulling this shit for years. So, I decided to analyze the past years, offer my own nominees, and declare new winners. Best movie isn’t the one that makes you cry or makes you think. Best movie is the one that you want to revisit over and over again. A movie you watch once and never again isn’t good. It’s only good if you can’t help but watch it a million times. Rewatchability is the hallmark of something great.

This time around, I’ll be taking a look at the Best Picture winners from the 2000s.

Continue reading ‘Brik Hates the Academy Awards: 00s Edition’

28
Jul
08

Sexman Monday: Step Brothers and No Country for Old Men

It’s Monday, so it’s time for another review from our site’s official film critic, Sexman. He begins with a review of the recently released Step Brothers, and then goes off on a tangent about the shitty oscar winning No Country for Old Men. I don’t care what those other pretentious critics think, if Sexman hated that film, then it’s garbage. I watched it once and found it to be a decent movie, but with Sexman’s iron-clad arguments, I feel I have to change my opinion. No Country for Old Men sucked ass, and Step Brothers was awesome. Here’s a quote from this amazing review:

“Step Brothers takes the cake… it’s fast, it’s dirty, and that’s how I like it.”




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