Lucky Star – What Hath God Wrought?

Die.

April 8, 2007 is a date which will live in infamy. It’s the date that good anime started to die. Until this point in time, anime creators were toying with moe, weak plots, lazy humor, crappy animation, slice-of-life stories, and pandering to the pedophile set. Despite tinkering, they had yet to fully commit. It wasn’t until that fateful day in early spring that they said, “FUCK IT” and went all-out with taking a giant shit on anime as we know it. This is the date that Lucky Star premiered. What was seemingly an unassuming, generic “comedy” series turned into a monstrosity that would be copied and mimicked ad nauseum until the entire anime industry was churning out nothing but moe pieces of shit.

Lucky Star was heaped with praise as being one of the funniest and most original anime series in ages. Naturally, my curiosity was piqued. Of course I wanted to watched something funny and original. Who wouldn’t? But it was a trap. It was a trap against my better sensibilities. What I found upon watching this abomination was the most vile, wretched amalgamation of every moe and slice-of-life cliche imaginable. It was the culmination of years of shitty tropes finally combined to create the ultimate marketing beast designed to sell merchandise, with the anime as an extended commercial for otaku fanboys to jerk off to.

Pani Poni Dash – Real-Time Blogging Episode 1

My thoughts on this series.

I’ve read a lot of good things about Pani Poni Dash. Of course, I read a lot of good things about Planetes, and we all know how that turned out. Anyway, I decided to give the show a shot. Now, a famous movie-star/male-model like myself doesn’t have a lot of time to scour the internet for this shit, so I just watched the first copy I could find. It happened to be a streaming version from Funimation’s Youtube channel. The video quality was good, but the audio was dubbed. OK, fine, whatever, that doesn’t bother me. After all, the dubs for plenty of other shows have been good. So I hit play, sat back, and started to watch. If you want to watch and read my comments, click this link to see the episode. Here’s how it went:

00:27 – OK, interesting title screen, seems more subdued than I expected.

00:41 – Let me guess, Planet of the Apes parody?

1:00 – Yep.

1:27 – Why would someone who graduated from MIT go into education? MIT doesn’t even offer degrees in education. Wait, sorry, this is anime so logic doesn’t factor into it.

1:38 – Oh, here is the crazy, super-moe opening, as expected.

2:15 – Kind of a catchy song, but not amazing. At least it’s better than that fucking Lucky Star opening. That thing was an audio holocaust.

3:00 – In the toilet? Where this show belongs, probably.