Louie Season 1, Season of the Witch

Louie Season 1

Louie looks confused.

Comedian Louis C.K. has the funniest show currently airing on TV, aptly titled Louie. You have probably never heard of it. Instead, you spend most of your time watching Two and a Half Men and The Big Bang Theory, and laughing your ass off because you think recycled shit is hilarious. Guess what, dumbass? You need to change the channel to FX and watch Louie. The show is an honest look at the daily life of a single-dad living in New York City who happens to be a comedian and an enthusiastic masturbator. No joke is considered off-limits. In the first episode Louie is accompanying his daughters on a field trip, and the bus breaks down in Harlem. Solution? Put all the black kids next to the windows to ensure the safety of the bus. With all kinds of jokes about race, sex, religion, inadequacy, aging, parenting, and more, there is nothing that Louie won’t touch. His brand of humor can often times be like the British version of The Office. Some situations can be laugh out loud funny, but other situations can just be relentlessly cruel and awkward. At times, the show can be soul-crushing. But no matter what, in every episode, you are always guaranteed to see something completely original and well worth your time.

Verdict: Awesome

Season of the Witch

Cage looks confused, too.

Nicolas Cage’s choices in movies can be considered questionable at best. Horrifyingly shitty at worst. If you check out his IMDB page you’ll see he does 3-4 movies a year. 75% of those are guaranteed to be crap. The remaining 25% has a 50% chance of being good and 50% chance of being awful. Is that enough math for one day? Well, I’ll simplify things. Season of the Witch is absolute crap. And not campy, funny crap like The Wicker Man. It’s stinky rotten crap so putrid you shouldn’t go within 500 yards of it.

The movie offers an interesting parallel to the movie Black Death. In Black Death, Sean Bean led a group of medieval knights to a village to kill a witch responsible for the plague. It turned out she wasn’t a witch at all, the villagers sacrificed the knights to some pagan gods, and HOLY SHIT I JUST REALIZED THAT MOVIE IS A TOTAL RIP-OFF OF THE WICKER MAN! EVERYTHING HAS COME FULL CIRCLE NOW! OH MY FUCKING GOD! Ahem. In Season of the Witch, Cage and Ron Pearlman lead a group of medieval knights to a village where a witch who was responsible for the plague will be put on trial. The key difference between the two movies is that in Black Death witchcraft isn’t real, and in Season of the Witch, it is real.

The movie started off promising with Cage and Pearlman speaking in really half-assed English accents as they killed hundreds of people in literally every battle of the entire Crusades. After that, the movie takes a nosedive into boring mediocrity. Nothing exciting happens, Cage brings in a very restrained performance, the CGI is horrendous, and the story is thread-bare. In the end there is a huge battle against the forces of darkness, and of course the good guys win. Yawn.

To be honest, I wish Cage and Pearlman would have used their regular voices instead of making the movie even worse with their terrible English accents. There is no rule that says every historical movie has to feature people with English accents. That’s a bourgeoisploitation fallacy. The fact that these guys were fighting demons excludes the notion they were going for historical accuracy. Why not just let them speak normally?

As an aside, why does everyone in Game of Thrones have English accents, too? They aren’t in fucking England, and the author is from fucking New Jersey. HBO should fuck off.

Verdict: Shitty

18 Responses to “Louie Season 1, Season of the Witch”

  1. 1 Devin Doiron
    March 1, 2013 at 8:41 am

    I fucking adore Louis C.K. I remember watching the first episode of Louie and promptly laughing my ass off. It’s the best comedy on TV, bar none.

    I haven’t seen the new Cage movie mentioned above, but from the way you describe it sounds bad. Not Wicker Man bad at that.

    Game of Thrones has a lot of problems and what you mentioned is among them.

    • March 1, 2013 at 9:40 am

      I’m happy to hear you realize that Louis C.K. is a genius. Don’t waste your time with “Season of the Witch” because it’s absolutely terrible. It’s not a glorious trainwreck like “Wicker Man”, it’s just an abysmal waste of time.

  2. 3 Kim
    March 1, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    Dinklage tried to do Tyrion with a Jersey accent. Didn’t work at All.
    (for Serious? the lannisters would be just great with a Southern accent, and all the Starks with a Minnesota Accent)

  3. March 1, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    I’m pretty sure GRRM wrote the characters with an British accent… he uses bloody as an adjective a lot, and not just when people are losing limbs.

    I think it’s about time I give Louie a shot, though… I’ve never really thought that he’d translate well into a TV show, but other people that enjoy his stand up seem to love it.

  4. March 5, 2013 at 12:17 pm

    Louie is amazing. I was lucky enough to see him perform stand up (Beacon Theater tour but in Baltimore) and it was the hardest I’ve ever laughed. His show is also heartbreaking and smart and subtle and fuck The Big Bang Theory seriously.

  5. March 5, 2013 at 7:00 pm

    Add Louise to my watch list. Nice review. Honestly, this blog make my watch list longer.

  6. March 10, 2013 at 5:45 pm

    I loved Season 2 of Louie, have you watched it yet? brilliant stuff. I still need to watch Season 1.

  7. March 11, 2013 at 4:33 am

    “They aren’t in fucking England”.

    Westeros is giant fantasy Britain (with less important Continentals in the south). The accents are appropriate.

    • March 11, 2013 at 7:55 am

      Eh, I’m going to have to disagree with you. As far as I can tell, fantasy is fantasy. If they wanted to speak Esperanto it wouldn’t be any more or less appropriate.

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March 2013


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