Fake Indie Movies (AKA Fuck You, Hipsters)

There are a lot of movies I hate. For the most part, Hollywood can’t resist shoving recycled garbage down the throats of the movie-going public 52 weeks a year. Since 2004 there has been a growing number of “indie” movies released every year. The indie movie trend really exploded with the release of Napoleon Dynamite. Since then the term “indie film” has been Hollywood shorthand for “quirky independent comedy.” Unfortunately, the majority of the movies being passed around as “indie” are nothing close to being independent.

A truly independent film typically has a lot of features you will never find in a Hollywood “indie” movie. For example, if the movie was ever released in a national cinema chain (e.g. AMC, Harkins), then it was likely backed by a major studio, and thus is not independent. Real independent movies are not seen in the same cineplex that shows the latest Michael Bay summer shit-spectacular. They may play in a small theater dedicated to independent films, but usually they just make the rounds on the film festival circuit until they are either picked up for home video release or fade into obscurity.

Real independent movies are way too hardcore for the standard movie goer. They are grainy, often black and white, have really low production values, do not star any known actors, and many times deal with social issues or are completely confusing mindfucks. Perfect examples of this would be the movies Eraserhead by David Lynch and Pi by Darren Aronofsky.

Eraserhead: a real indie movie.

A real independent movie is not always a “quirky comedy.” It can be about anything. Unfortunately, Hollywood has latched on to the success of Napoleon Dynamite, and started creating cookie-cutter “indie” films to spew into theaters year round. Every Hollywood “indie” is exactly the same. It has one of two lead characters: Character A is a quirky, awkward male teen who is a virgin, a bit of a nerdy loser, but by the end of the movie will learn to be comfortable with who he is. This character is typically played by Michael Cera. Character B is a quirky, precocious female teen who is out-spoken, a bit of a nerdy loser, wise beyond her years, and by the end of the movie will learn to be comfortable with who she is. This character is typically played by Ellen Page. Character A or B will be surrounded by a number of equally quirky family members or friends who will do nothing to advance the plot and serve no purpose other than being “quirky.”

Hollywood “indie” films follow a rote formula just as much as blockbuster action films or romantic comedies. In all of the Hollywood “indies,” you have Character A or B leading their quirky lifestyle with their quirky family/friends, until something happens that forces them to examine their life, they need to go on a roadtrip (literal or figurative) to re-connect with themselves, along the way they find the true meaning of friendship/love, and ultimately they learn to be happy with who they really are. Naturally, everything is set to acoustic guitar music. This is a formula shat out time and time again. In fact, Hollywood “indie” films are so formulaic that they often use they same font in the poster. This is meant to subliminally tell you, “HEY ASSHOLE, LOOK OVER HERE! IT’S AN INDIE MOVIE! HOW CAN YOU TELL? JUST LOOK AT THE FONT! IT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS HANDWRITTEN! THIS IS TOTALLY INDEPENDENT!”

Coming soon to a theater near you, every week.

Now, an “indie” film doesn’t necessarily have to use this font, many “indie” films don’t (e.g. Little Miss Sunshine, Garden State). However, if you see this font, you are pretty much guaranteed to have a fake Hollywood “indie” film on your hands. Just because the title looks handwritten, it’s supposed to make you think it is just as quirky, homegrown, and independent as all the characters populating the movie. All of these movies have a certain smugness about them that pisses me off. Everything they do tries so hard to be fresh and “indie” that they just wind up being nothing more than generic replicas of themselves. Granted, once in a while there are a few movies that break the mold (e.g. the surprisingly excellent (500) Days of Summer), and generate a real sense of humanity and realism. However, most of them are just putrid, manufactured garbage (e.g. Sunshine Cleaning). But Hollywood thinks you won’t notice. There is a way to notice, just take a look at the title font. All “indie” movies have the same one.

The font is called “Pointy.” I, however, am dubbing it the “Indie Movie Font” copyright BrikHaus 2010. Here are just a few examples:

Look at how quirky they all are!

So from now on, just look at the font. If it is the same fake-ass “handwritten” font, then you will immediately know it is another one of Hollywood’s craptastic “indie” movies. That way you know to avoid it.

But wait, it gets worse…

The popularity of these movies has helped lead to the rise of one of the most annoying subcultures of all time. The hipster. Hipsters are everywhere. You can’t avoid them. Chances are, one of the three people who read this blog may actually be a hipster. What is a hipster, you ask? That’s simple. Let’s go to Urban Dictionary to get a definition. After reading this for a second, it became clear that the author was a hipster. As a result, I’ll need to translate it for you. Orange text is the definition, and blue text is my translation.

“Hipsters are a subculture of men and women typically in their 20’s and 30’s that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter.”

Hipsters are a subculture of men and women that value hivemind thinking (hipsters all think the same as one another), acting “different” because they think it’s cool, progressive politics (i.e. being a democrat, which half the country already is anyway), and enjoy creative, witty, quirky movies like all the shitty fake “indie” films listed above.

“Although ‘hipsterism’ is really a state of mind, it is also often intertwined with distinct fashion sensibilities. Hipsters reject the culturally-ignorant attitudes of mainstream consumers, and are often be seen [sic] wearing vintage and thrift store inspired fashions, tight-fitting jeans, old-school sneakers, and sometimes thick rimmed glasses. Such styles are often associated with the work of creative stylists at urban salons, and are usually too “edgy” for the culturally-sheltered mainstream consumer.”

Wearing a t-shirt and jeans, or dressing up in nice clothes makes you “culturally-ignorant.” Hipsters are very progressive and forward thinking, which is why they view the “mainstream consumer” as clueless and sheltered. Wearing torn up, “vintage” clothes from Good Will or Salvation Army is really cool and “edgy.” You know what? The homeless have been doing that for years. I guess that means the homeless are the most edgy motherfuckers on the planet.

“It is part of the hipster central dogma not to be influenced by mainsream [sic] advertising and media, which tends to only promote ethnocentric ideals of beauty.”

That makes sense, which is why the majority of advertising campaigns today focus on the hipster aesthetic. (More on that later.) They are just as subject to being manipulated by consumerism as everyone else. One hipster buys something, and ten more jump onto the trend (e.g. owning Apple products).

“Hipsters are pioneers and leaders of the latest cultural trends and ideals. For example, the surge of jeans made to look old and worn (i.e. “distressed”), that have become prevalent at stores such as The Gap, American Eagle, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Hollister, were originally paraded by hipsters who shopped in thrift stores years before such clothing items were mass produced and sold to the mainstream consumer. The true irony here is that many of the detractors of hipster culture are in fact unknowingly following a path that hipsters have carved out years before them”

Wow, you guys are such pioneers! When I think of the great pioneers of the world, I think of Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr., the entire anti-slavery movement, and hipsters. Where would we be without the hipsters, the “leaders of the latest cultural trends and ideals.” To be honest, I don’t know anyone who likes the “distressed” jeans look. Who would pay a dime for clothes that are torn to shreds before you buy them? Only a fucking idiot, that’s who. I’m looking at you, hipsters.

“Because of the rise of various online photo-blog and social networking sites, insights into urban hipster culture is reaching sheltered suburban audiences at an exponential rate. Cultural “norms” have been deconstructed by hipster culture as a whole. Hipsterism is often dismissed as just an image thing by some, but the culture as a whole is effecting changes in society, leading to feelings of insecurity and resentment in people who are no longer a part of the cultural ruling class. For example, a lot of anti-hipster sentiment evidently comes from culturally-clueless suburban frat boy types who feel that the more sensitive, intelligent, and culturally aware hipster ideal threatens their insecure sense of masculinity. Anti-hipster sentiment often comes from people who simply can’t keep up with social change and are envious of those who can.”

You’ll never see a hipster with someone who is a non-hipster. They stick to their “ethnocentric ideals of beauty” just as much as non-hipsters. They are just as stupid and bigoted as everyone else. Frat boys may indeed be “culturally-clueless” but hipsters seem to be living in their ivory tower, smelling their own farts, and spending all day thinking about how much better they are than everyone else. But to be fair, they are right. I hate hipsters because I am envious of their ability to keep up with social change. I still live in the stone-age, I believe a woman’s only  place is in the kitchen, and I beat my slaves mercilessly all day long. I wish someone with a stupid haircut, ratty jeans, and thick-frame glasses would show me the light!

Wow, that was really a lot of text. Sorry about that. To be honest, the source was several paragraphs longer, but I couldn’t take any more smugness, so I had to end things there. According to whomever wrote that, hipsters are pretty much the saviors of humanity. Their cool fashion sense and music taste is really helping out the poor, simple masses who are too stupid to understand lofty ideals. Let’s take a look at these bastions of all that is good and right with humanity:

The saviors of the human race.

Wow. I could never strive to be that cool. With all their scarves, shoulder bags, stupid looking shoes, sport coats that don’t fit, and fedoras, I could only hope to be a fraction of how cool they are. The fact is, hipsters are just as preoccupied with how they look as the bleached-blonde, fake-boobed (side note: fake boobs are cool) bimbos that they proclaim to despise. Oh, and if you think I’m the only person hating on hipsters, think again. There is an entire site dedicated to pointing out how fucking stupid these assholes are. It’s called Look at this Fucking Hipster. There is also an entire movement called, “Die Hipster Scum.” Not that I condone killing hipsters. For a moment think about all the people you’ve known in your life that you thought were “cool.” Were they the people who were trendy, political, and snobbish? Or were they the people who were friendly, personable, and non-judgmental? It seems pretty obvious to me who the truly “cool” people of the world are.

Now that the definition of hipster is out of the way, I’m going to go back to something I alluded to earlier. Advertising campaigns are specifically marketing toward the hipster subculture. TV, internet, and print ads are being flooded with “quirky” messages and often display the Fake Indie Movie font. The biggest, soulless, evil corporations are getting in on the action. From Starbucks to Amazon to Volkswagen to motherfucking Miracle Whip, everyone is trying to get a piece of the hipster market. Check it out:

Amazon Kindle Hipster (is a female hipster a hipstress?)

Look at how fucking hip they all are!

Miracle Whip is progressive.

The two main culprits behind all of this are the fake “indie” movies from Hollywood, and Apple Computers. The fake “indie” movies have popularized “quirky” hipster culture, and brought it into the mainstream. A long time ago people that owned Apple products were indeed outside the mainstream in terms of computing. Microsoft/IBM-compatible computers owned the world. Well, they still do, but the margin has diminished markedly in recent years. Ever since the iPod came out, Apple suddenly became a “cool” and “hip” company. People started buying more Apple related products. Consumers thought they were buying something that was outside the mainstream, and as a result, they were “cool” and “hip,” too. Apple kept shitting out more and more products like the iMac, iPhone, iPad, etc. No one was safe. Practically everyone has bought an Apple product at this point. Don’t deny it, you know that you did. Hell, not even I was immune, I bought a fucking iPhone.

Since Apple’s rise in popularity, they are no longer outside the mainstream. However, they still have the public perception of being a perpetual “start-up” company who is outside the mainstream. Apple has so successfully manufactured its image, that everyone still believes they are “cool” and “hip.” As a result, advertising companies have shifted their focus to feature “hipness” in all of their marketing. So your Average Joe who owns an iPod and an iPhone and enjoys fake “indie” movies, now thinks that he is a hipster. He sees a TV commercial for the Amazon Kindle and thinks, “Wow, the people in that commercial are totally hipsters just like me! I need to buy a Kindle!”


Even mortgage lenders are getting in on the hipster marketing action.


The truth is, Apple is just as evil and soulless as Microsoft, IBM, Starbucks, McDonald’s, or the United States government. Let me simplify it, Apple is now mainstream. So, to all you hipsters out there who are listening to whiny acoustic rock on your iPod, take out your earbuds for a second and pay attention.


It’s true. Throngs of people listen to whiny acoustic rock, fake “indie” movies are popular, the homeless have been wearing the hipster style for generations, and the once non-mainstream Apple is now a mainstream giant. I guess it’s time for the hipsters to pioneer something else. How about pioneering an attitude that isn’t holier-than-thou? Maybe that would be asking too much. Oh wait, I have an idea!

Instead of continuing to watch shitty, fake Hollywood “indie” movies, hipsters could move on to Hollywood blockbusters. They could all start watching the latest Michael Bay summer shit-spectacular, and scoff at anyone who doesn’t watch multi-million dollar Hollywood turds. They could also start wearing business clothes, dress nicely, listen to Techno music, dine on beer and pretzels, and stop smoking that nasty ass smelling hookah. Fuck all you hipsters. Get a life. You aren’t pioneers, and you aren’t cool.

To everyone else, avoid the Fake Indie Movie font. It’s everywhere.

53 Responses to “Fake Indie Movies (AKA Fuck You, Hipsters)”

  1. 1 EvangelionFan
    July 18, 2010 at 11:20 pm

    An epic rant indeed. I was glad you mentioned (500) Days of Summer as it’s a film that was truly worth seeing, unlike Juno which I forgot less than a week after watching it. I agree with you about Apple being a mainstream giant – in my years at High School I was surrounded and bombarded with i-products and i-imagery, it was fairly clear that the company held some sort of ‘indie’ image even here in Australia. If there was one thing that is missing from your argument, it’s the rise in the use of the short ‘i’ in products and advertising – since Apple isn’t able to claim a copyright to it, everyone and anyone who considers mining this hipster market can use it. I wish they wouldn’t, because it’s downright annoying.

  2. August 8, 2010 at 3:19 pm

    This is why we love you, Brik.

  3. August 14, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    LOL, this is why you’re in my blogroll dude….posts like this are just…AWESOME. Although, I must say, I did enjoy Gentlemen Broncos and Juno. Have you seen the trailer that’s supposed to be like a sequel or sumthing to Juno??? it looks so generic! it fits the formula perfectly. And don’t even get me started on those Starbucks ads!

  4. 5 girls
    August 16, 2010 at 1:30 pm

    ..being just as ironic as a hipster. By the way hipsters don’t like any of those films; only entry level alts, cool dads, and tweens. and many laugh at those advertisement gimmicks.

  5. August 24, 2010 at 9:51 pm

    @girls: hmmm well I’m not wanting or trying to be a “hipster,” “entry level alt,” “cool dad,” or a “tween” so I must be a… ‘person who enjoys movies.’

  6. 7 CArlesJunior
    November 4, 2010 at 4:16 am

    Japanophiles will never become mainstream. hurray for anime-fans you are all officially not part of hipster gaymoreism.

  7. 8 z
    December 2, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    god gawd that was funny! man i hate that fukn miracle whip commercial i remember the first time i saw it i ranted to my then gf about how fukn retarded that commercial was. you are my freakin hero sir.

  8. December 20, 2010 at 12:54 am

    Don’t you think that you may be a bit of a snob yourself? If you have the right to judge “hipsters” as snobs who believe they are better than everyone. Yes, I agree we live in a hipster generation, but what was it before this? There is always going to be a label for people. Its easier to group people together that way, Does that mean that whoever you believe is a “hipster” fits into these requirements you have been ranting about? I don’t think that would make much sense at all. What do you wear? Where do you get it? Originality seems impossible to obtain in every context. You could be wearing a band T-shirt and “normal” fitting jeans- Where does that put you? Theres a label for that. Where do you get your fashion sense, music taste, or originality ? Its filtered to you through other people who are also like you. So dont go bashing people who may be making an effort to be original, What makes you so high and mighty ?

    • 10 Lucas Corso
      June 19, 2012 at 2:17 pm

      That is what is truly hilarious about this guy’s rant: He is out-hipstering the hipsters he derides. He is SO COOL he dumps on those who think they are cooler than everyone else, because he really, really is cool. I laughed out loud a couple of times reading his screed. What a joke.

      • 11 uptightdouchebag
        June 20, 2012 at 8:48 am

        What makes him cool? Btw I’m on his side and enjoy his writing, and usually agree with his opinions. But what makes him cool?

  9. December 20, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    Hipsters are not original. They all share the same hivemind mentality, and are under the delusion that they are somehow being unique and a benefit to society. But original? No. The average hipster is just as original as the average goth or the average cowboy. If someone is truly “original” they will just do their own thing, and not hang out with a bunch of people who all do the same thing as them. If they did, they would lose their originality.

    Also, what makes me so high and mighty is that I rule, and I’m not a fucking hipster.

  10. 13 Vic Perry
    January 5, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    As an irrelevant addition to your discussion – I’m in my late forties – I nevertheless very much enjoyed this post. These are the battles of people your age, not mine, but generally I liked it. The idea that “real” indie movies are inherently better is a tragic delusion you will probably get over at some point. Because of my age, and the fact that I am a long-married father of several children I love dearly, there is absolutely no danger that I am secretly a “hipster”. So please don’t dismiss my post out of hand. That said, I enjoyed both 500 days of summer and Juno, as well as the movies you mention as “real” independent film, and you should be aware that hating romantic comedies (or any kind of comedies) can often be merely a sign of pretension. What would be really brave is defending romantic comedies as hugely important culture, and in that regard I’m the bravest guy you will meet.

    I used to rail against the idea of “quirky” because it was a way of saying that any human behavior outside of the most obvious needed a label to distinguish it as “other” — I mean, you DO realize that if Kafka or Gogol or Melville put out their works today they would be merely relegated to the “quirky” category, right? This is bad news for culture.

    Yet around the time of “Little Miss Sunshine” it became quite clear that “quirky” was being exploited as a marketing technique. There’s no question that “quirking” is a piece of the marketing pie at this point. Yet I can’t specifically remember anything especially “quirky” going on in “500 days” or “Juno” which struck me as being relatively believable love stories. What was good about both movies was the non-obvious choices made by the characters. There was something ridiculously predictable about the “Juno” backlash as soon as the movie became popular. Kids and their pop-culture based identities; in a few minutes you will realize the futility.

    I’m hoping you aren’t one of those people who thinks that integrity equals non-commercial. If only it were that easy, then every artistic failure would have integrity, and we’d never have to think about anything popular. But that isn’t how culture works.

    • 14 Sharon
      March 16, 2011 at 1:32 pm

      I 100% agree.

      June 16, 2016 at 8:20 am

      Juno was just utterly pointless, in plot, character development, message and even their stupid little one liners that didn’t make sense. It didn’t go anywhere, there was no reason for her to be pregnant/not abort her kid besides “muh feminism”, not one of the characters was likeable or relatable either. They all lived in a bubble away from reality where physics and logic defy them. Don’t even get me started on the stylistic choices and their wardrobe. And I am not saying people can’t dress hipster, so before you cry oppression keep that in mind. I have a problem though when a hipster personality is used as the driving force of an entire movie, and everyone in Juno is a hipster, even the normal people. And why did that guy leave his wife? Who could have not seen that coming? They should have just gave him some young loli to fuck, that detail would have paid off. Maybe I just have a sore spot because I hate them but hipsters are all contrived and stupid and attention seeking. The only thing to like about them is their taste in music and even that is only them pretending so they can appear cool. There’s this radio that pkays hipster music near me and the host doesn’t even know he’s pretentious, always talking about black lives matter and indie guy hes friends with frim Vancouver this, and indie artist who is friends with other indie person that. And yes, all I have to do in my free time is just sit and criticize people.

  11. 16 Aenon
    January 6, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    You gotta tone it down a notch man, this was fucking hilarious and all, but there’s all kinds of nitches in society not just hipsters and mainstream, i hope this was only poking fun and not genuine hate because, usually people who have problems with everyone else’s nitch is just mad they don’t or can’t fit in one. But I will agree with you, I have a bunch of friends who are “hipster” and are all for apple products and look like carbon copies of each other. People just need to start looking at things from a surrealist perspective ya know? But it’s human nature to follow and not to lead, so we’re all doomed anyway.

  12. 17 Ian
    January 6, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    Your rage and slander takes away from the logic of your argument. Try using more reason and less smear-ranting next time. I guess you could call me a “hipster” as I fit some of the criteria listed in your average definition but really its hard to define a whole entire subculture without making a stereotype. I don’t really care what I’m labeled as. I am not judgmental nor do I entertain any of the high and mighty sentiments that you described “hipsters” as having. I don’t care what people watch, wear or listen to, and the fact that you care what “hipsters” do makes you more judgmental than any hipster I’ve ever met. One final remark, I’ve yet to meet someone who thinks Nacho Libre is an independent film.Food for thought.

  13. 20 Niki
    January 30, 2011 at 2:20 am

    I randomly came across your blog and noticed your subject heading: Fake Indie Movies. Best rant EVER! Before studios started to call their films “indies” they use to be called art house films. It wasn’t until the popularity of Clerks did they consider to milk the term indie. Since then, they make fake low budget comedies and coin them “independent” to sucker in those hipsters to make them feel they are watching something special.

    I recommend you see this documentary called “Official Rejection”. It’ll make you even more pissed off to see how studios use the term independent to classify their own low budget movies actually in turn takes away any attention from (and even harms) the actual small fry independent filmmakers that suffer to produce their movies. It’s a shame really.

  14. 21 Sharon
    March 16, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    You sound like the ultimate hipster.

  15. 22 Sarah
    March 22, 2011 at 2:02 pm

    Well someone’s a hipster aren’t they?

  16. 23 Moionfire
    May 8, 2011 at 11:25 pm

    You are confusing an “art film” for an “indie film”

    An independant film is simply a film made outside of the 6 major studios. That is all.

    An art film however is a film created for non-commercial reasons. They can be “quirky” or at least subvert conventional film-making…

  17. 24 Spartan-121
    May 13, 2011 at 6:50 pm

    Fuck yeah. Dude, I love your blog. That’s it.

  18. August 28, 2011 at 6:28 am

    I love your blog man, I wish I had more time to plump the depths of your archives here. I’ve been a busy busy guy doing my own thing.

    But I have to say that everytime I come back here to find something new to read I get rewarded. This was a hysterical piece, and filled with — a LOT of righteous indignation. Emphasis on the “Right”.

    The only thing I would have clarified is that while Hollywood themselves DO produce from scratch fake “Indie” movies, a lot of these smaller movies START as Indie movies (That is, someone coughs up their own cash, gets their own loans, etc) and then get SOLD to Hollywood, where Hollywood dresses them up and packages them in the same rancid packaging that you skewer so excellently.

    I think the distinction would have been worth making because movies that ARE made independantly take the risk of being one of those travelling film circuit art house theatre movies unless they’re “Picked up”. And once they are, its probably not the filmmakers fault that Hollywood wraps them in quirky fonts and low quality photshopped posters…

    That aside, this was a funny read, man!

  19. August 29, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    I’m probably partly hipster, but I don’t follow many of the ideals and definitely not the movie tastes. I’m not really anything anymore. Maybe being 28 instead of 21 has widened my views… I can only see myself becoming more ecclectic as I grow older. Is that hipster of me? I don’t know. I’m not big on Apple or Democrats. I do have a few good hats and one pair of black skinny jeans. But…. I like everything from techno and dubstep to classics and classical… as well as just any well-made music (maybe like Gotye etc?) … and not so much jangly guitars and indie rock bands. I don’t think there are ANY good movies anymore. NO MORE GOOD MOVIES. So, we can forget about Junos and Napoleons and Superbads. They don’t have the weight that films used to have. I like using computers, but I hate them and wish I could have lived a few decades earlier. Maybe that’s hipster. Who knows? But I LOL’d at this article and then PMSL’d at a few of the defensive comments underneath (anyone who says “oh yeh? what makes YOU so high and mighty?”). Keep up the good work 😀

  20. February 14, 2012 at 7:48 am

    Great post,I agree that at times Hollywood “indie” films follow a formula, but is not pointed out too often
    You are quite right, Eraserhead is a real indie movie, David Lynch paid for it by delivering the wall street journal ( :

  21. 28 missminute
    March 25, 2012 at 5:18 am

    I think you will find most hipsters are in fact fans of the “grainy hard to watch” films you champion, like the actually rather well known Eraserhead and PI, rather than the more feel good indies which are generally designed for a wider, more mainstream audience. Indie means independent, meaning independent of a major motion picture studio. After that you can’t control the content just because you don’t like it. I’m sorry that hipsters stole your movies, bro.

  22. 29 missminute
    March 25, 2012 at 5:24 am

    Ps. I am a hipster, and you will routinely see myself and my hipster buddies hanging with, drinking with, dating, screwing and working with non-hipsters. I am so tired of reading blogs written by clueless people professing how much they hate something they don’t understand, and clearly fear enough to threaten with violence and hate. That my friend is the real bigotry.

      June 16, 2016 at 8:24 am

      LOL WAT. If you’re trying to show that you don’t see yourself as superior, thats not the way to go about it. Your opinion should be disregarded

  23. 31 Mr Steve
    May 10, 2012 at 9:10 am

    Came across your blog looking for validation for my belief that Avengers wasn’t really as great as everyone says. Found it here https://awesomelyshitty.wordpress.com/2012/05/06/avengers-assemble-for-a-giant-circle-jerk/#more-2528 Thanks! Then starting reading through your archive which is actually distracting me from work, but hey… anyways thought you might like this little dig at UK hipsters if you haven’t seen it before.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVmmYMwFj1I

  24. 33 uptightdouchebag
    May 11, 2012 at 9:14 am

    I’ve actually never owned or purchased any Apple products. Not one, ever.
    Still pure. *smug face*

    • June 20, 2012 at 9:00 am

      Glad you enjoy the writing and the post. I wish I was still “pure” as well, but I, sadly, own an Apple product. They get the better of us all, don’t they?

  25. 35 iami
    August 23, 2012 at 11:07 pm

    Your amazing. This post is amazing. As well as your quote about the homeless… I have a friend who recently fell into the hipster trend and…has tured into…a complete snob. This post explains her new found wisdom and individuality…perfectly…not so special now.

  26. 37 BG
    September 13, 2012 at 7:28 am

    I don’t mind “hipsters” themselves per se, but this blog post perfectly sums up everything that annoys me about the quirkiness that has seemed to take over pop culture. The movies, the TV shows, or music are all laced with it, but it’s all style and no substance. I don’t mind quirky humor, but I hate quirky for the sake of being quirky, to the point of where I’m scratching my head or deemed an idiot because I don’t “get it”. Commercials have become largely unwatchable for me for that very reason. You can use humor and still sell the product, and not look like your ad-writers went on an acid trip before the big pitch session.

  27. December 6, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    I’m indifferent to hipsters – assholes are assholes no matter how they dress. The worst thing I’ve seen in hipster culture in hipster racism where people think because they’re soooo obviously progressive that if they make a racist joke ironically it’s totally cool. http://jezebel.com/5905291/a-complete-guide-to-hipster-racism is a pretty funny read about it (Jezebel sucks sometimes but the writer Lindy West is hilarious).

  28. January 16, 2013 at 9:38 pm

    I hate when those suckers belive they’re more intelligent and sophisticated, sometimes you can’t even have a good conversation because they always think like if they knew everything, and if you say something like an own idea or some opinion, they start getting mad about it, and they assume you’re wrong…it gets worse when time passes and that thing you told them then becomes something of their interest and they pretend that everytime was great…something like that joke of family guy…they just take an idea and pretend they know everything about it, the annoying part is that they just pretend, some of them like any shit but they hide those gulty pleasures

    • January 17, 2013 at 8:28 am

      Yeah, I agree, it’s incredibly annoying when that happens. We all have guilty pleasures, we should embrace them, not hide them. Who cares if I like to watch shitty B-movies? I revel in it.

  29. 42 THE Hal E. Burton 9000
    July 28, 2015 at 11:22 pm

    Way, way late to respond to this, long overdue I know, but since I have the time.

    This post, wow! I read this post soon after it was up here and it came at a curious time for me.

    Starting circa 2008, I felt what could only be described as a great disturbance in popular culture that bothered and depressed the hell out of me. For me, while mainstream culture had not been a decent place for most of my lifetime, I was feeling as if it was about to really go even further into the sewer where we were, and are still, being groomed to meet with and worship C’thulu and cheer on the end of civilization within my lifetime, which is sadly still not far off the mark given the most popular forms of entertainment and political movements, but I repeat myself. Yet for about two years, I could not really figure it out what was the source of it exactly.

    It was the little things at first. People, especially under the age of 35, being overly overexcited about Starbucks beyond a caffeine rush. Seriously, how was it that the old folks were not the intended or original core base of Starbucks beyond said age group perhaps balking at Starbucks’ prices and not being impressed by where the beans came from? Specifically, the annual run on Pumpkin Spice Lattes by the so-called millennial generation (more on those fools in a moment) look like the worst moments of Black Friday coupled with the 1980’s crack epidemic. Then, it was the infernal cult that became Steve Jobs / Apple. No matter that their devices have become about as durable as paper doilies and their firmware/software updates making Microsoft look like a paragon of great customer service, there is the shitty attitude so damn many people assume when they get their iPhone / iPad / iWatch, etc. That group of fools that are unfortunately of use to certain tools for now (more on them later), as well as practically every social networking website, popular music artist, and even most of television and film was, and is still, fueled by this blind narcissism that has infected, and keeps infecting, everything beginning with the (all-too-often empty) space between people’s thick skulls. I could go on and on more than I am – Twilight, Bayformers, the inescapable fetish to find that next media franchise by the conglomos with a terrible “blank slate” of a so-called “protagonist” in a lazily and/or terribly written story arc with no real surprises, twists, or serious development in a drab and/or orange-and-teal CGI world in-universe with no atmosphere or curiosity (I have gone on a little more on this specifically here https://awesomelyshitty.wordpress.com/2014/10/11/fuck-your-cinematic-universe/#comment-17999 and even more detail here https://awesomelyshitty.wordpress.com/2014/12/14/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-money/#comment-18589), Taylor Swift (and ironically not Lady Gaga) becoming the 21st century Rule 63 Donald Trump (by the way I know I can’t wait for her Presidential campaign, you know it’s coming in 2028 just in time to run against Chelsea Clinton, Jenna Bush, and Malia Obama)[/sarcasm there people, calm down], etc.

    And about the time this illustrative post entered my conscience and the years since, I finally pieced it all together and came to the realization of what was the source of all this bullshit. It was the worst subculture in world history (except maybe the juggalos, but thank the Christ Jesus they are not even close to mainstream for now): “the hipster” as it was effectively described and predicted in its sociological pathology, albeit described more explicitly as “bohemian bourgeois” and even more sufficiently as the cloyingly cute (and clairvoyant in its later overuse by such peoples) portmanteau word “bobo” in Bobos in Paradise: The New Upper Class and How They Got There by David Brooks, an otherwise laughable Mr. Magoo-esque squirrel of man who found a cultural nut. (More on that here: http://www.booknotes.org/Watch/157392-1/David+Brooks.aspx .)

    I also finally realized in late 2010 – early 2011 that it was not only this insane hipster subculture that was making mainstream culture even worse off that it was prior, but it was all the corporate and political power tools (there are mere tools, and there are power tools, there is a difference) trying to take advantage of what appear to be some of the most apparently useful fools popularly called hipsters since the fools in 1917 Saint Petersburg, 1933 Berlin, or 1994 Kandahar.

    Many thanks to you in my understanding the known universe, Brik.

    • July 31, 2015 at 3:58 pm

      I’m glad that something I wrote was so helpful/formative for you. I can’t begin to write a response worthy of this post of yours, so I will just leave you with this: I hate hipsters.

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July 2010


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